


Edge Of Night

by Mikhailov



Category: Castlevania (Cartoon), 悪魔城ドラキュラ | Castlevania Series
Genre: A Whole Mess, Alucard has it rough, Angst and Feels, Anxiety, Blood Drinking, Bottom Alucard, Character Death, Comfort, Death isn't Dracula in this one, Drinking, Eventual Fluff, Eventual Smut, Explicit Sexual Content, Give this poor man a hug, Grief/Mourning, Heavy Angst, Insanity, It's like not really death tho, Like he dies but he comes back, Lisa is a Good Mom, Loneliness, Lots of heavy topics, M/M, Madness, Mental Breakdown, Mental Health Issues, Mental Instability, Near Death Experiences, Poor Self Care, Resolved Sexual Tension, Sexual Content, Sexual Tension, Slow Burn, Sypha is the only intelligent one, Trevor Belmont is actually caring, Trevor and Alucard share 1 (one) braincell, Trevor belmont is a diaster, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Woo boy, at least its resolved, i cant help it, i don't know where i'm going with this, mentions of depression, somewhat ooc
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-10
Updated: 2019-12-25
Packaged: 2020-12-07 12:15:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 11
Words: 37,610
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20975744
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mikhailov/pseuds/Mikhailov
Summary: Months have passed since Dracula's defeat, and alone in the castle, Alucard finds himself slowly going mad in the loneliness of the dark halls and endless corridors. With the looming threat of Carmilla and the forgemasters on the horizon, everything seems impossible and his world is thrown off balance until an impromptu visit from his former travel companions shake his world, but perhaps this time, it won't be too bad





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> The tense in this story jumps between past and present a lot in this first part, I'm super sorry about that! My life has been messy recently. I'll have it sorted out in the next part, promise. I hope it's not too off-putting, but I hope you enjoy
> 
> There isn't anything mature in this chapter.

_Tick, Tock. Tick, Tock._

The constant, unending, booming ticking coming from the grandfather clock at the of the hall is slowly, steadily driving him mad. His hair is pulled into a dishevelled ponytail to get it out of his way and yet loose strands still fall in front of his eyes, making his eye twitch at times. 

It's been...so long. So very long has he been alone. And the silence is deafening. He dreads going anywhere other than the main hall. He walks the hall, seeing the ghosts of his father, hears his mother's soft laughter or the voices of the two people he'd shared his travels with, bickering or laughing in the corners of the rooms. The castle is so dark, so very dark. He does not bother to light the chandeliers or the torches on the walls. He rarely leaves the main hall or the alchemy lab. The walls are black and dirty, there are bloodstains on some of them, and dust and cobwebs are starting to grow along the walls and in the corners. 

Sitting in the middle of the entranceway, on the plump red carpet -the only thing that's really clean in the castle- the only sounds he can hear is the constant, maddening ticking and the loud noises of the whetstone across his blade. The combination of sounds makes him grit his teeth and shut his eyes. It feels like his ears are bleeding but he does not mind anymore. Anything to fill the never-ending silence. Anything to make it go away. 

Covered in calluses, scars and bruises, his hands aren't what they once were. _He_ is not what he once was. Sunken eyes, hollow cheeks, dirty, unkempt hair, too little body weight, he's a shell of who he once was. He lost interest in taking care of himself long ago. And to feed would mean to kill someone, for animal blood simply was not cutting it anymore. He did not want to kill someone. He had long since given up on that. He hadn't spoken in months, if he ever needed to speak, he had taught himself to speak with his hands, symbols and gestures conveying the words he couldn't bring himself to speak anymore. What was the point of speaking when he had no one to speak to? Why waste words on empty space? 

The bell tolls midnight, snapping him from his daze and he sweeps his gaze across the main hall. Though he did not pull the curtains up (and perhaps he will never pull them up) more content to sit in darkness, he can now hear the thunder booming outside and the rain hitting the windows, loud pitter-patter noises for his awareness has been raised. Slowly, lazily he looked and looked up, casting his gaze towards to door. The thunder outside obscured a noise he believed he heard. A nagging voice tells him to go check. Whispering at the back of his mind, but he has been on the edge of his sanity for a few weeks now. His mind has been playing tricks on him for too long now, too long to where he's desensitized to what is real and what is not. 

When the noise comes again, he blinks again. He tells himself it is most certainly nothing, that, at the exact stroke of midnight that there's no possibility of it being anyone. But that voice at the back of his head tells him to go look, tells him to at least try. He supposed to be could give himself that. Put some effort into something. With a shaky sigh, perhaps the first sound he'd made since he had first sat down in the hall, he gently puts down his whetstone and takes his sword in hand, using it as a prop to push himself upright. He stands on shaky unstable legs, every movement makes it feel like fire is blossoming under his skin. He knows it’s simply his body waking, reacting to use after being numb and still for so long, but it still aches.

He gives himself a quick moment to regain his senses, and sword still in hand, he headed towards the door. The large, imposing doors. Even in his frail state, it does not take long to push open the doors, which creek open with the hinges screaming their protest, anyone in their right mind would have turned away. 

He does not see anything at first. Just the empty darkness, the forests and the pouring rain, even with his ability to see in the dark, there’s no one there. With a rough sounding snarl, he raises his sword, the blade shining and reflecting in the moonlight and the very faint light coming from the torches inside.

Seeing nothing, sensing _nothing_, he starts to turn to head back inside, only to be met with the bright eyes and even brighter red hair that belongs to one Sypha Belnades. Her smile is the brightest thing he’s seen in a long while and though he wants to smile back at her, he can’t bring himself too. He blinks, pauses and tilts his head. She’s smiling up at him, waiting for his answer and he clears his throat, not wanting his voice to come out _too_ hoarse, and not wanting to be disrespectful to her. He forced a smile at the speaker.

“Hello, Sypha.” He said, even though he had tried his best, his voice came out scratchy and forced. He bit back a wince. If she noticed anything off about him, she said nothing about it. 

_Why was she here?_

She grinned, moving forth to pull him into an embrace and laughed gently. “It’s lovely to see you again, Alucard. I’m so impossibly sorry it took us so long to get back here. We just got _so_ very caught up in our travels. Hopefully, you can forgive us for that?” She rambled on, voice cheerful, it really goes against the sombre mood of the castle and surrounding forest, and Alucard found it rather obnoxious, though he was not too angry at seeing Sypha. After leading Sypha inside. He placed his sword against the wall. 

“Whe-” he coughed, clearing his throat. “Where’s the Belmont?” His voice was hoarse, pulling a wince from him, this one Sypha seemed to notice, she did not say anything, however. Sypha did not answer him, but she did tilt her way in one direction, his gaze followed, to where Trevor Belmont stood, looking uncomfortable, even though he looked much more content to be out of the rain. Trevor raised an eyebrow at him, looking almost unimpressed and looked around, pulling his cape around him. He must have gotten it back from Gresit. Sypha regarded the entrance, the dusty staircases, the messily fixed damages. He sighed gently when Sypha turned to him, he raised his hands, absentmindedly signing an apology about the state of his home. Sypha blinked at him.

“Pardon?” She inquired him, cocking her head. He paused, opening his mouth to speak, but when his eye caught Trevor, saw the ways his hands were poised, he bit back a smile. 

“Apologies.” He whispered, signing the motion with his hands for he was certain Trevor was well out of earshot. The shock of Trevor knowing to speak using his hands, knowing to use sign language as well weighed on him for a moment, and he turned away from the two of them to rub his temples. He did not know why they were there, but he realized with them present now, he would not have to communicate with the endless, unending silence. He turned back to face his two companions with a forced smirk.

“I do not wish to come off as… rude or unwelcoming,” he managed to say, shaking his head, “I apologize if I came off as either of those. I must also apologize for the...state of my home. I was not quite expecting anyone.” 

He had been expecting them for a while when they first parted. He had made repairs to anything that had been damaged, cleaned up and for a little while, everything was alright. Then it wasn't. 

Neither of them seemed too bothered with the less than stellar welcome, most probably used to it by now, and he watched them, waiting for an answer, feeling uncomfortable in his own home, though that was not new. After a moment, he opened his mouth to speak once more, yet Sypha beat him to it. She had been preoccupied looking at the interior with newfound curiosity while Trevor had been waiting for her to speak. He had never been good with words, they all knew that much. 

"How have you been?" She asked with a smile, she didn't acknowledge his sorry state, nor the sign language and Alucard was ever grateful for that. Thank the heavens Sypha knew how to take social cues. Trevor on the other hand, was not quite so...observant, for lack of a better term. Of course, Trevor knew how to behave well enough when he could tell something was amiss with him, but he looked ready to quip at Alucard with a sneer and "you look like shite, Alucard." or something along those lines, but he stayed politely quite in his little corner. 

It was hard to not pay attention to Trevor Belmont, especially after everything that had happened that Sypha was unbeknownst to; though it had been a one-time thing. In the main hall, now much more lit up with torches, it was hard to miss him. He blended in well but stuck out at the same time. 

Trevor Belmont had always been an interest of his. This big brutish man who knew his way around fighting, fucking, getting piss drunk and seemingly nothing more. Anyone would see just that and his almost animalistic ruggedness that made him attractive in a lovely way, but past that, most people saw a brute and nothing more. It took time, endless banter and sneered insults between the two of them. Compliments hidden in their insults or just never spoken aloud; (only within their minds) but eventually, Alucard had gotten to know Trevor. 

He had liked that side of Trevor if he was being completely honest. A more vulnerable, soft side of him. Sharing his cloak with Sypha when she was cold, _lending_ it to Alucard when he wanted it, a ghost of a smile always crossing his lips when he saw him wearing the cloak. He loved it. Loved seeing how someone like Trevor Belmont, big, lousy, stupid Belmont could have a soft side.

Suddenly he realized the silence had stretched on and he cleared his throat apologetically.

“I’m well.” He lied, eyes still on the Belmont, whose gaze was on the grandfather clock at the end of the hall, that endless, maddening ticking seeming to catch his attention. Trevor Belmont still wore the clothing he had worn when they parted, but the shirt was dirty and ripped in less than stellar areas. He snapped his gaze away from the Belmont. 

“I trust you two are doing well.” He said with an incline of his head. From the way Sypha had moved to stand next to Trevor, he assumed something had sparked between the two and the small inkling of hope, that last little flame inside him was snuffed out as she moved to grab his arm, whispering something. Alucard cleared his throat. 

“It is late and I’m sure you are both tired and in no mood to spend much longer in those clothes of yours,” he said gently with another incline of his head towards their soaked clothing, wanting nothing more than to die on the spot if it would save him from seeing the Belmont with the Speaker. “I can show you to your room. Or rooms, whichever you prefer, and bring you spare clothing should you need it.” He said turning away from the two of them to make sure the grand oak doors were closed and sealed tight. When he turned back to them, much to his surprise, it was Trevor who said:

“That would be great.” 

His voice was deep, just on the ride side of rough and it sent a shiver up his side, he forced his face to remain passive as he offered them a smile, wringing his hands.

“Follow me then.”

Alucard called his sword back to his hand, picking up its scabbard and the whetstone. He sheathed his sword, slipping the whetstone into one of his pockets and he moved up the stairs, making sure his unexpected, but not unwelcome, guests were following. Alucard led them up a few more flights of stairs until they stood on the floor which had the kitchen. He stopped in front of a room and looked over his shoulder at the two, they walked slowly, still side by side. Sypha was grasping his sleeve, but they did not hold hands, some selfish side of him was glad for that. He pushed those thoughts away and smiled at the two of them.

“If you wish to share a room, take this one here. There are more at the end of the hall, closer to the kitchen if you wish to have a room to yourself. But please, take the night easy. Rest.” He smiled, “I’ll get you some clean clothes.” 

Sypha grinned and thanked Alucard, saying something that he didn’t hear and he let his face fall as he walked away down the hall, only when he looked up did he see Trevor, head tilted, eyes soft with worry. He must have not wanted to share a room with the speaker. 

“_Are you okay_?” Trevor signed, and the question caught him off guard. Not only the sign language but the inquiry to his state of well-being had him puzzled. He put on a brave face, smiling gently at Trevor.

“_I am alright. Can I get you something_?” He answered, his hands moved quickly, his hands twitchy and Trevor looked anything but convinced but he let it slide, eyes narrowing with concern, Alucard silently begged him to stop looking at him like that, with worry, with pity. Trevor frowned and retreated into his room. With a sigh, he turned towards the kitchen, heading up another flight of stairs to where he was currently keeping all his clothing, they were dirty clothing items strewn about the room, but piles of clean, pristine clothing waiting for him.

He grabbed a set of clothing for Sypha and one for Trevor, making sure the sizes and the clothes fit and matched his guests before he headed out of the room and back where they were staying. He walked over to Sypha’s room first, forgoing knocking and he peeked inside. Sypha was not present, most likely in the bathroom. He put the clothing down on the edge of the bed before stalking out. He made his way to Trevor’s room then. Not wanting to barge in for fear of walking into something too private, he raised his fist to knock when the door swung open and Alucard staggered backward, caught off guard and rather flustered and embarrassed. He opened his mouth but paused. Trevor stood in the doorway, just as shocked.

“A...Apologies,” he stuttered, “I did not mean to intrude, I was simply going to…” He trailed off not knowing what to say before he simply pushed the clothing into Trevor’s arms muttering ‘If you need it’ and he turned on his heels and stalked off. Refusing to look over his shoulder at Trevor, who he knew was watching him leave.

He stole away to his ‘room’, shutting the door behind him with one quick movement. The door slammed, making him wince and he fell over onto his bed, lying there, with his face hidden in the pillows to ponder over what it meant that his old travelling companions were back. It did not mean anything, did it? It did not mean anything different that they were here. But why were they here? He had written to Sypha and Trevor at first when they both parted. Trevor had never answered but chirped into Sypha’s letters here and there but he had never shown much care. 

He hid his face in the pillow further and he kept his hands over his head, groaning gently. Everything always had to be so very complicated for him. He pushed himself up to sit in the middle of the bed, he sat cross-legged, elbows propped on his knees, and his chin resting on his fists. He stared at the door of his room as if expecting someone to walk through, but nobody came. And why would anyone? Yes his madness, his loneliness had been for months on end playing tricks on his mind, showing him people who were not there. Ghost (literally and figuratively) of his past. He sighed as he closed his eyes with a sigh, breathing in through his nose and out. He calmed his suddenly racing heart, willed himself to calm down and to adjust his thoughts, to get everything in order and once he felt calm enough, he nodded once and slipped out of bed, he paused, staring at himself in the mirror and smiled.

He knew eventually if he wasn’t told he would figure out why his old travel companions were here, they could tell him they ‘were just checking in’ all they wanted but Alucard wasn’t a child. He knew that though he loved them both very much he also knew they didn’t come to him unless they needed something. It felt nice to have friends, not quite so nice to be relied on when they needed help. He would brave the subject tomorrow, he knew that much. His mother had always told him to face things when they bothered him, to face his fears. Though he wouldn’t call it his ‘fears’ but it was something that _was_ bothering him, so he would bring it up later.

He remembered the first time he’d actually bothered asking something of this nature to Trevor. He remembered the shock on his face, the way it had melted to some form of affection, he remembered the way Trevor’s eyes softened. Remembered the way Trevor reached out to grab his hand and how in that moment, he might as well have been a stranger. It had all been very unlike Trevor, but it had been amazing and Alucard would kill for that to happen again- 

He shook his head, playing with a loose strand of his hair, nervously. He couldn’t remember the last time he had washed it. He sighed, what would his parents think of him now? They had raised him so well and here he was greeting his guest with unkempt hair. He frowned. He should not be thinking about his parents; there was no use in it, nor right now. Of course, he was still mourning his father, he’d _killed_ for fuck's sake but- 

He shook his head and looked at himself in the mirror once more, could see rejection in his own reflection. He smiled sadly at his reflection in the mirror, shaking his head,

“Fuck it,” he said breathless, throwing all formality out the window, “I need a drink.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trevor is my big dumbass son and I love him,,,so??? much??

Alucard could not remember the last time he had had a drink this good. 

Nor could he remember the last time he had 'relaxed' like this.

He had never been one to drink much, and the fact that most beer or anything alcoholic from bars and inns were watered down did not help either. Of course, his father would have something good stashed away, He’d no clue how old this wine was, the only thing that mattered was that it was _good_. Sitting at the dusty chair at the head of an even dustier table in the kitchen, Alucard sipped his wine with his feet up on the table. His glass was still full but he had lost track of how many glasses he had had. This was probably his fourth? Who cared. He had gone through half the bottle, that had to be a lot right? 

He was not _drunk_ per se, and he was not tipsy either, but he certainly was not a hundred percent sober. It took a lot to get him even remotely drunk. This was exactly the state of ‘drunkenness’ he wanted, and it was nice. It was relaxing. Getting his mind off of things had never been easy with him, but the wine did well, it clouded his thoughts just enough that he could still think, but why bother? He swirled the wine in his glass, watching the dark liquid with an unblinking stare. He could convince himself it was blood sometimes, and keep his hunger at bay. But this was the first bottle of any drink he’d opened since he had been alone in his father's castle. 

He'd no clue why his father had even had wine. His father had not drunk any wine to his knowledge. He did not even particularly _need_ wine since blood worked just fine and he was bloody Dracula. No one could beat him (before him and his companions of course) and he could go anywhere and kill whoever he wanted and have no issue. Of course, his mother had stopped Vlad from doing that, but for how long? He had no clue. Perhaps the wine had been his mother's, but then again, she had even fewer reasons to drink than his father did. He had been young but he had spent quite a lot of time with his mother and he had never seen her drink, not once. 

He concluded, after a moment, that all the speculation of why the wine was there was useless because it was some bloody amazing wine.

“You look comfortable.” Someone spoke with a laugh. Lazily, Alucard raised his eyes from his drink, up to meet beautiful blue eyes that belonged to none other than Trevor Belmont. He raised one eyebrow, flashing Trevor a lazy smile. He dragged his eyes along Trevor's frame, eyes resting on his shoulders for a moment before travelling up to his eyes, smiling lazily.

“Hello, Belmont.” He drawled, his voice much to close to slurring than he would have liked. 

“You didn’t tell me you were drinking, I’m hurt. You know how much I love me some booze, wine or not.” Trevor laughed walking ‘round the table to snatch the bottle of wine and taking a long sip _straight_ from the bottle, Alucard almost dropped his glass in his shock and in his scramble to snatch the wine away from Trevor.

“Brute.” He muttered, pouting once he had gotten the bottle back. Trevor threw his head back with laughter. Maybe it was all the wine in his system, he was starting to feel a little ...relaxed, it felt nice. He knew this was no way a host should be acting, getting drunk on the same day that his guests arrived, but oh what did he care? It was just Trevor Belmont. He smiled at the hunter and cocked his head a little. He held the bottle to his chest like one would with a child and watching Trevor like he’d just kicked a puppy.

"If you wanted some, you could have just asked, like a _normal_ person" He stated, his smile fading as he placed the bottle on the table with a loud _thunk!_ and he winced. The bottle didn't break, didn't crack like he had expected too, which he was glad for.

"I think we both know 'normal' isn't a word to be used when describing us, Alucard." Trevor chuckled and grabbed himself a glass from one of the cupboards. Alucard watched him, a wanting feeling forming in him, warmth spreading through his body. Mmm, how he liked the way Trevor spoke his name. Maybe it was the wine getting to him but he adored the way Trevor said his name, loved the way it rolled off his tongue. 

"Come now, Belmont, don't be like that," he mused cocking his head, "I say we are both quite normal." He chuckled making Trevor laughed again, settling himself in the chair across the table from him so they were sitting at the two heads of the table. 

"Oh yeah, the son of a tyrant who terrorized the world for decades and the last son of a family betrayed and burned in their sleep," Trevor said, almost bitterly, "Definitely 'normal' people." 

"Careful Belmont," Alucard warned with a good-natured laugh. "I do live in a giant fucking castle overtop your old home, but I like to think perhaps I can settle down and live a normal life- Or, as normal as you can get when you're the son of Dracula." He said nursing his glass of wine as he finished his drink. He closed his eyes and reached out to grab the bottle, but Trevor had his hands on it before he could. 

"Let me." He teased standing up. In any other circumstances, Alucard would have probably scowled and stolen the bottle from Trevor with a glare, but when you had someone serving you your wine, why stop them? He held out his glass to Trevor, raising an eyebrow at him lazily and smiling. 

"You know," he started as he watched Trevor fill his cup. "I was wondering why you two were here." He finished meeting Trevor's gaze. 

"Ah, _I_ was wondering when you'd ask about that-"

As Trevor stepped back, Alucard watched him step backward into one of the dining chairs, he brought his hands out to steady himself, his fingers unfurled themselves from the bottle of wine and they watched in muted horror as it crashed to the ground and shattered into a million pieces, crimson liquid pooling and spreading every which way. 

Trevor cursed, loudly, and stepped back, eyes searching, he looked up at Alucard, unsure of what to do. Alucard only heaved a heavy sigh, shaking his head. 

"Shame, that," he sighed, "It was such good wine." He pouted twirling a strand of his hair absentmindedly. He sighed once more bringing his legs off the ground as to not stain his clothing or boots. After a moment he realized he should probably do something about this. Alucard moved to get up, but Trevor crouched down to pick up the shards. 

"Wait no-" Alucard said, panic rising within him. "Don't pick up the glass without covering your hands you fool! You're going to c-"

"_Shit_!" Trevor cursed, interrupting him and, pulling his hand back with a pained hiss. 

"... cut yourself…" he ended, trailing off, eyes glued to the cut on Trevor's hands. It was a rather long gash, but not too deep. If he disinfected it and wrapped it up it wouldn't cause him too much trouble. But he- his eyes were on the wound, watching the dripping blood from the cut with growing hunger. He could tell from the fear in Trevor's gaze that he had let his hunger take over him but _oh god_ it had been so long since he had fed. He was _dying_ for it. He was dying for a taste, for anything. God Almighty he was _so hungry_ for it. 

"Alucard?" 

He blinked, shaking his head violently and heat found its way to his cheeks, he looked away. "A- Apologies, that was unprofessional of me. I'll go get the first aid. You sit. Grab a dish towel and cover the wound, we don't want you losing too much blood." He said, his face flushed. He'd take care of the wine and the glass, once he knew for certain Trevor, was alright. 

He sidestepped the mess on the floor and slipped out of the room. He opened his mouth to mutter to himself but no sound came out. He could not bring himself to speak, could not bring himself to voice his worries to himself. He frowned but shook his head. He found the first aid and forced himself to hurry up and head back to Trevor, who was still waiting at the table when he returned, he had a blood soaked rag around his hand and Alucard stalled in the doorway for a moment.

He shook his head and sat in the chair next to Trevor, holding out his hand. The Belmont gave it to him without so much as a grunt and carefully, slowly, he peeled the rag away. It- it would be an understatement to say it took all his willpower to not just pull Trevor's hand to his mouth, but he had _some_ restraint thank you very much. He remained quiet as he applied the gauze to his wound, making sure it was not going to get infected, and after a moment he looked up at Trevor, eyes distant. He sighed. 

"I'm going to have to-" he caught himself, stopping to clear his throat and to calm the headache that was starting to build. "Gonna have to stitch the wound." He murmured. It was best to stitch up the wound, it would be the best way for it to heal better.

It was odd to hear his voice again after months of not using it. He had been alone and other than the murmurings he had done to remind himself of what he needed to repair, he had spoken very little. He did not have to listen to just the silence since Trevor and Sypha were here now, but the more he spoke, the more he found himself hating his voice. And- speaking of Sypha- He guesses that she was just back in her room, but what did he know? He should go check up on her when he finished nursing Trevor's wound, or once he did not feel the headache from his hangovers. Frankly, he found he should not be trying to heal a wound while not completely sober but he didn't care. 

Fingers snapping in front of his face brought him back to reality and he blinked. 

"Hey, hey, look at me," Trevor said, he didn't sound annoyed like he should have been, nor did he seem worried. There was some emotion in Trevor's eyes that grounded Alucard. He shook his head gently.

"Apologies… once more," he said. This was what? The fourth time he found himself _apologizing_ to Trevor Belmont? Lord above what had happened to him? Trevor must have realized that as well because his eyebrows furrowed and his eyes narrowed for just a moment before the look was gone. It had not been like him to be apologetic and yet here he was saying sorry over zoning out. 

"You're okay with stitching?" He asked because though Trevor had already answered, he had not heard him.

"Yeah, I'm like chill with it. Just be gentle, I'm precious cargo." Trevor joked. He gave Alucard one of those stupid goofy grins that could make people _melt_ and Alucard chalked up the blush that heated his cheeks to the wine he'd drunk, which was still a mess on the floor, but he'd deal with that later.

"When have I ever hurt you?" He drawled, words slightly slurred, though his voice felt unfamiliar as he reached into his first aid to pull out the thread and a needle.

"Don't even start," Trevor warned.

Alucard snickered, something a lot more like the old him and he got to work. 

They sat in comfortable silence as Alucard stitched up his wound, making sure Trevor was not uncomfortable. The hunter had hissed just once when Adrian had first pierced the skin. But other than that, he had remained quiet and taken the stitching like a trooper. He _was_ a Belmont after all. When he finished, he gave Trevor a glare, silently telling him to stay still as he fetched a wrapping for his hand, rolling his eyes at the way Trevor scoffed. It was best to take precautions. 

"Say," Trevor whispered as he wrapped his hand. He looked up for a moment to meet Trevor's gaze, blue eyes watching him curiously, somewhat glassy and Alucard blinked slowly. "I never did answer your question." He blinked again, not quite understanding what he meant at first. 

"Oh. Right. I must have sounded bitter heh, I did not mean it like that. I simply.. was not expecting you or Sypha, if I am being honest." He said after realizing what Trevor was mentioning. The Belmont laughed slightly. 

"Ah yeah, that's fair. Sypha told me there was an 'emergency.'" Alucard raised one eyebrow slowly.

“She is acting rather calm for an emergency.” He said, stating the obvious. Trevor snorted and nodded his head in agreement. 

"I think she heard that either...what were their names? Hector and ...Isaac? The forgemasters were acting up and getting bolder, mainly...Isaac, I think it was, was being bold." 

His head snapped up, hair bobbing with the motion. He blinked, narrowing his eyes.

Ah. 

So they did need him but not completely to check up on him. 

He tried to hide his disappointment on his face as he tugged on the bandage, pulling on it tightly, eyes on the ground and only loosened it when Trevor gave protest, stopping Alucard for a moment so he could loosen the wrapping. Alucard finished wrapping the wound, making sure it did not disturb the gauze he had placed down or the stitches. He tucked one end under the other and fastened it before turning Trevors hand over, watching his face for any signs of discomfort. Trevor pulled his hand away, closing it and folding his fingers towards his wrist experimentally. Everything seemed to be okay. He was moving his hand fine, nothing looked too wrong. The thought was swimming in his mind. Had they only come because of the threat of the forgemasters and of Carmilla who was definitely involved? Or was there some sort of worry about his state of well-being with them out there on the loose? He bit back a hiss, not in the mood to talk with Trevor about it. 

"Well," he said softly looking away, "I suppose we can talk about this tomorrow when we're all awake, yes? I wouldn't want to wake Sypha." He said softly, patting Trevor's hand with a soft sigh.

"Let's not get too ahead of ourselves. My father's forgemasters were never too bold, and with Hector being with Camilla we can assume he's being used. Isaac will, for the moment be our only worry. But you've only just arrived. Take a few hours, days if you wish to relax, I am sure, with the injury now you are no in any hurry to get to fighting." He said with a frown. Trevor nodded, a small smile playing at his lips, an emotion he couldn't recognize shining in his eyes. He looked away, fearful that he would do something reckless if he stared any longer. He didn't mention how he knew Hector was with Carmilla, Trevor did not need to know.

Alucard stood, proud of his work and Trevor followed suit, blue eyes watching him again. He looked down at his hand, humming softly.

“You should head back to bed, I had told you to rest.” He said eyes dropping to Trevor’s wrapped hand. The Belmont sighed. 

“I still owe you an explanation, and I’m the one who shattered your wine, at least let me help clean it up.” He moved to step towards the mess, mindful of the glass when Alucard reached out and gripped his wrist, eyes narrowed. 

“Did you learn nothing from what just happened?” He teased, Trevor gave him a sheepish smile. It took a good while of convincing but eventually, he managed to get Trevor to drop cleaning up the spilled wine and head back to bed. He watched him go, bidding him goodnight with a nod of his head and got to cleaning the mess that had been made. He picked up the glass, one piece at a time, careful of not cutting himself and he stared for a moment at the piece on which Trevor had cut himself on. There was a great deal of blood on it and he bit his lip as he brought the glass to his eye level. Would it be weird to taste it? It was not like he was just… taking blood from Trevor. He was not here to even know. It would be harmless in a sense, at the risk of cutting his tongue, which he didn't care for, he could taste Trevor's blood, something he would not admit to anyone about wanting to do.

With a growl, he tossed the piece of glass into the pile he had made of all the other shards of glass, it clinked against the rest of the glass. He scowled and with the broom that rested in the corner, he brushed the glass into the bin, his scowl permanent on his face as he worked. He crossed his arms over his chest, eyes narrowed at the red liquid soaking into the ground. He pinched the bridge of his nose, feeling much more sober now after cleaning up all the glass. He cleaned the wine from the ground, soaking it up with the already blood stained rag Trevor had used and once he finished, he plopped back into his chair at the head of the table. 

Goodness, sometimes he wondered how he had even survived this long. He had had thoughts about it on the road with Trevor and Sypha, he would be lying if he denied it. He had wondered what it would be like to just stop and let some creature of the night kill him. But there had always been someone there to stop him, Trevor's yelling and Sypha there at the back of his mind pulling him back to reality, telling him that he had a purpose and a part in all of this. 

And yet, after that? After they had parted and he had been on his own to tend to both his old home and the Belmont hold. There was no one who was there to remind him that he was worth and all the things he'd been told before. He had thought about it, way too much. He'd thought about all the ways he could just disappear. And yet, he never did. He wondered as to why he didn't. It's not like anyone cared, right? He sighed as he wandered the empty corridors of the castle, torches lighting up on their own as he walked.

With a sigh, he headed back towards the kitchen, debated getting some food but deciding against it and headed back down the hall where Trevor and Sypha were sleeping. 

Trevor had fallen asleep, which he only knew due to the fact that he could _hear_ the man snoring, and when he reached Sypha's room, he risked peeking inside. He gave a small knock on the door and when she didn't answer, he twisted the doorknob and slipped inside, just a step. The speaker was on her bed, curled up on herself. She raised her head at the sound of the door opened, making a small noise, like that of a cat being woken, and she looked at him with sleepy eyes.

"Ah, did I wake you?" He asked stepping back. Sypha pushed herself up and cocked her head. 

"No. I've been having trouble falling asleep. Stay." She whispered, blinking lazily. He raised an eyebrow, smiling gently. Though he was still a little bitter about them perhaps coming only because they needed his help, he would not let that get in the way of helping Sypha. He did have a soft spot for her. He shook his head, stepping further into the room, but not closing the door.

They'd done this before, many times. On the road. When one of them would be unable to sleep, or was having a nightmare, it was common for one of the others to reassure them, sometimes both of them would do. It had happened mainly with Trevor. The Belmont was prone to nightmares that had him waking abruptly, a sheen of sweat on his forehead, breathing heavily, shaking from head to toe and waking one of the others who then moved to comfort him. Sometimes they just wanted comfort. Sometimes it was just cold and they wanted the body warmth from the others. No one minded it. When on the road, people will do what they need to keep warm, sometimes that included cuddling, completely platonically. 

It had shocked them at first, how willing Trevor was to get comfort from them, even him. He had been more touched starved than either he or Sypha had thought. Of course, he had grown up rather alone but getting affectionate touches, and soft embraces had been something he'd longed for apparently. No one knew how touch starved he'd been. They'd all been touched starved, really. All loved the comfort

And so when Alucard crawled onto the bed and Sypha crawled into his open arms, neither of them thought anything odd about it. The speaker nestled her head against his chest and his arms rested comfortably on her sides, but respectfully away from anything else. She was tiny compared to him, all small limbs and soft elbows. He was a little less comfortable compared to her, all pointy edges and long legs. His hair splayed out around him while Sypha's hair was curling around her face, keeping close to her. Alucard smiled gently at her and brushed a strand of hair out of her eyes. 

"Thank you." The speaker whispered, he gently poked her side. 

"Do not thank me, sleep instead." He chuckled rested his chin overtop her head and she relaxed against him. After a moment, a rather long one albeit at that, her breathing slowed. He could feel her heartbeat against his chest, making sure he was asleep and comfortable before he closed his eyes himself, letting himself calm against the speaker. 

He tried not to think how much it felt odd to not have their third party. It had been rare for Adrian to end up sandwiched between the two of them but on the rare occasions it happened, it had always felt nice to have Trevor at his back or at his front. Though he hated the Belmont sometimes it was impossible to say that he was not comfortable and warm. Alucard would have loved to deny it, but Trevor _was_ warm and it was intoxicating not having his warmth around him.

It was hard to not think about Trevor, it was difficult not to think about the kiss they'd shared once. An impulse event that had happened and then subsequently forgotten, for the most part, by both parties. He couldn't remember the reason why they'd even kissed. All he could remember was the way Trevor's lips had felt against his own and-

And that now wasn't the time to be thinking about this. 

He shook his head, tossing away the thoughts of Trevor Belmont for the meantime and looked back to Sypha, her face soft and peaceful while she slept. He watched her for a moment and when he was certain, completely certain she would not be bothered by anything, he told himself he could sleep. Though he did not necessarily need to sleep, he closed his eyes and let sleep take him away.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things get angsty :)

Trevor had joined them during the night. 

He realized at first that it was Trevor when Alucard woke for he felt a familiar warmth at his back and side, enveloping him, surrounding him. He felt nice, he felt comfortable, he felt _safe_. It felt right. It felt _perfect_. One of Trevor's hands was linked with Sypha's and it rested on Alucard's hip. He nuzzled his face into the crook of Trevor's arm and elbow. He had turned to Trevor, and found that Trevor had turned towards him as well, though he had already been wrapped around Alucard. Sypha was hugging at his side and his back due to him having moved. He looked at Trevor with tired eyes, not having shaken the sleep off yet. He wanted to hold something, Trevor's hand, but found he couldn't. Trevor's other hand rested under his body and curled around the small of his back. 

With a quiet whine, Alucard moved closer to Trevor. He moved towards his warmth, seeking the comfort of it and rested his head against his chest. Sypha still clung to his back, but pulled her hand away to wrap both arms around his waist. She did not seem to mind that Alucard was more interested in Trevor. Subconsciously, Trevor pulled his hand away after Sypha let go of her hand, bringing both arms around Alucard. All their legs were tangled and he smiled softly as Trevor moved his head down a little, Alucard looked up at him once more. 

Softly, rather absentmindedly and mostly out of habit, he traced circles on Trevor's shoulder. He dragged his fingers down, resting his hand over Trevor's chest, overtop his heart. He could feel his heartbeat against his hand, a soft rhythm under his hand, music (that wasn't actually music) to his ears. He closed his eyes with a sigh and brought his hand to his own chest, not wanting to be too touchy feely.

When he opened his eyes once more, he found Trevor staring back at him, blue eyes still glazed over with sleep. Alucard's breath hitched. Trevor blinked a couple times, blinking away his sleep and Alucard watched Trevor's gaze dart around the room before settling on him. He watched his pupils dilate, blowing wide, turning the blue of his eyes into two small circles. 

They looked at one another, gold eyes meeting blue ones and for a moment, neither of them spoke.

"We're doing this again, are we?" Trevor teased softly, breaking the silence. 

His voice was incredibly quiet, rough from misuse overnight. Like the first time he'd spoken yesterday, his voice was hoarse, just on the right side of rough and his voice was deep and husky, it rumbled like the thunder outside and a shiver ran up his spine, he shut his eyes. 

“Did you miss it?” He asked, voice quiet, but betraying nothing. 

“Would I be allowed to say I did? We were the ones who left after all,” Trevor asked, and though his voice was heavy with tiredness, there was some kind of emotion he could not place, “I missed these.” He said after a moment and Alucard blinked, moving back a little ways. 

Alucard stared at Trevor, eyes narrowed slightly. Trevor squirmed under his gaze, dropping the topic and moving to rest his head at the same level as Alucard. It was a stupidly intimate moment they should not be sharing with Sypha right there. He closed his eyes, hiding his face by pressing his brow to Trevor’s collarbone

“You’re warm. Or- as warm as a vampire can be.” Trevor said after a moment. So perhaps Trevor did know how to take social cues. 

"As are you." He answered with had Trevor giving him a sort of mock cooing sound. Alucard snorted, hiding his laughter against Trevor’s chest and no matter how comfortable he felt he knew better than to let his walls down, perhaps he was still being a little bitter as well. He looked at Trevor and a voice at the back of his mind, that little nagging voice told him to lean in, Trevor was right there, lips parted, just an inch upwards and he could- he could- 

He could _not_ think about that at this particular moment.

Sypha shifted, grunting a little and Alucard jerked back at the sound. He sighed, thinking it better to get up and pretend his little conversation with Trevor had never happened. He gently pulled himself out of Trevor’s embrace, giving him an almost apologetic look, but he shook his head as he turned to Sypha. It was hard to deny just how adorable she was. He smiled gently and poked her side, she grimaced and curled up on herself closer.

“Sypha, love,” he nudged her side and she made a face, he smiled. “Come now, Sypha. I’ll make you breakfast.” He drawled and she cracked one eye open, suddenly interested. Alucard bit back a laugh and shook his head as he gripped her under his shoulders and pulled her up. She doesn’t miss noticing Trevor, still on his side by the edge of the bed and immediately, her eyes dart down to Trevor’s injured hand.

“What happened?” She asked, still half asleep, her words slow. Adrian patted her back, pressing a kiss to her forehead and patted her shoulder as he slowly crawled out of bed. “Silly Belmont can’t stay out of trouble. Cut himself, do not worry about him.” He mused reassuring her. He didn’t give her any more information. She did not need to know it

He paused in the doorway, looking over his shoulder at the two on the bed. Sypha was rubbing away her sleep and Trevor’s eyes were glued on him. Ignoring the shiver that ran up his spine once more, he turned and stalked out of the room heading down the hall to the kitchen.

It was raining again. 

Always raining, forever getting his mood across in the gloomy rain. Thunder booms and rumbles outside, it does not shake the ground, but the lightning outside lights up the sky in a bright theatrics of bright blue, and white. The storm was not disastrous, but it was something that would leave some damage. The pitter-patter of rain was the only sound, his only companion as he padded down the hall, his steps making no sound on the polished floors.

The kitchen was a homely room, most of its decor having come from his mother and her tastes. He was still a little shocked that his father had kept everything that reminded him of his mother intact within the room, but perhaps he had just never entered the room after his mother's death. He opened the curtains, trying them open and he turned to heat up some water for tea. There was not much food to work with, rations and some fresh bread and fruit that he had bought in the one time he had left the castle for food. He sighed gently as he set out the food, he got some butter, laid that out as well and sighed as he went through what he could possibly have as drinks. There was wine yes but he refused to touch wine for a while after the little incident the night prior.

With an almost defeated sigh, he placed his forehead on the wooden counter, fingers tip-tapping a nameless melody against the wood as his hair fell in waves around his head as he pulled it from the ponytail he had pulled it into before. He doesn’t acknowledge how his hair is a disaster, but he does not have the heart to fix it. When he raised his head once more, he hears footsteps down the hall and he forces himself to look okay.

Sypha still looks asleep when she pads into the kitchen, she’s wearing the clothing he brought her, reminiscent of what his mother used to wear. A beige coloured long skirt with a black long sleeved corset top tucked into it, she looks lovely.

“I must admit that I don’t have much to eat, but there is fruit if you want any. I may perhaps some dried meat left from my last hunt but I am ...” he trailed off, realizing Syphs hasn’t quite registered he was speaking. She narrowed her eyes grabbing an apple and watching the rain outside as she ate. He decided he better not speak any more if she was not awake enough to hear. 

Trevor doesn’t join them until well after Sypha had woken fully. She’s eating a roll of bread, and Alucard is sitting on the counter pouring himself a cup of tea when Trevor comes in, bleary eyed like he had fallen asleep. He is not wearing his cloak, and he has shed himself of his old clothes to also wear the clothing Alucard had shoved into his arms.

The clothes are.... A little big, he isn’t sure why but Trevor doesn’t seem to mind. He’s wearing black military- soldier pants, tucked into black boots and he’s wearing a normal poets shirt, the front obviously open, the laces undone, showing more skin that necessary and Alucard’s eyes are glued to him as he walks him. 

Looking at Trevor from just over the rim of his cup, he watches the man grab a roll of bread, some butter and watches as he rather dramatically, really, flops into one of the chairs. He doesn’t mention the stained floor, doesn’t even acknowledge it and Alucard is thankful for that. Sypha is eyeing the stain on the ground since Alucard's eyes have drifted there. She doesn't say anything about that either, and he is glad for that. 

"I think I'm awake now." Sypha announces as she finished her apple. She placed her apple core on the table and turned to Alucard, she seems to want to say something, but never does. He chuckled gently and hummed.

"Do you two want some tea?" He asked after a seemingly never ending moment of silence as he refilled his cup. 

Sypha smiled, a bright smile they could light up cities after dark and said "Oh, yes please." 

He turned to Trevor, one eyebrow raised slightly and he cocked his head, albeit lazily and Trevor snorted. 

"Only prissies drink tea." He said. He crossed his arms and leaned against the table crossing one leg over the other. Alucard narrowed his eyes, raising his eyebrow just a little bit higher and Trevor huffed. Alucard smiled at him that small little smile he knew infuriated Trevor and grabbed two more black china cups and poured them both some tea. Sypha took her cup with a smile, Trevor took his muttering something under his breath.

In the silence that stretched on, they all drank their tea in silence, Trevor helping himself to some grapes from what fruit was available to him. Alucard watched him all the same, eyes curiously watching all his movements with narrow eyes. Sypha is the one who breaks the silence, she’s talking about the rain, complaining about it but she seems to love it as well. Neither of them are listening. Trevor puts his cup down without so much of a sound and flexes his fingers.

“_You seem bothered by something_.” He signs. Alucard blinks at him, he had completely forgotten that Trevor knew sign language, but once again, asking about his well being caught him off guard. It took a moment for him to answer.

“_What does it matter to you, Belmont?_” He returned although he faltered on Trevor’s last name, this made the man smile, but it was gone a moment later.

“_Because it does. You’re my friend and I care about you, Sypha and I._” Trevor shot back and for a moment, Alucad did not know what to say. Trevor must have messed up, must have made a mistake. “You’re my friend and I care about you”.l? He had read that much well enough, but the part about ‘Sypha and I’ confused him. He didn't understand what he was saying. He was glad however that he hadn’t fed in forever for he was sure he would have been blushing. He assumed Trevor must have just made a mistake.

“_It’s not me you need to be worried out, Belmont. I’m fine. And anyways there are more important things to be worried about._.” He wasn’t exactly certain how accurate his signing was for Trevor had to take a moment before he answered, eyebrows furrowed. 

“_What’s that supposed to mean?_.” He asked. There was no way of being sure if there was any bite to his words, but the stupid grin on his face told Alucard that Trevor’s words had most likely been him joking. He huffed, drawing Sypha’s attention and they both went stiff.

“Was I rambling?” The speaker asked, frowning, “You boys outta tell me when I do.” Trevor laughed and crossed his arms over his chest.

“I believe now that we’re all up, we have some business to attend.” He said crossing his arms over his chest, mirroring what Trevor was doing. He was sitting on the counter that was much too small for him, and he emptied to rest of the kettle into his cup, watching the tea swirl as he did so. His companions were both watching him with curious eyes, though he was sure they had an inkling of an idea of what it was they were to speak upon.

“Care to share?” Trevor drawled.

They stared at him expectantly, Sypha’s eyes shone with curiosity, Trevor’s looked bored and uninterested. Alucard had a feeling that there was interest in his gaze, but he was good at hiding it. There was some kind of amusement in the room hanging in the air, Alucard hummed and picked at his nails. 

He cleared his throat. "My father's forgemasters." He said and immediately, the rather casual air of the room was ripped away from the room, Sypha flinched and Trevor's expression hardened. He narrowed his eyes slightly, his stance changing to a tense one, they stared at him, still expectant from them. He smiled at them, cocking his head. 

"Of course, yesterday I spoke with Trevor briefly about them," he said, eyes glued to Trevor. He gave Sypha a glance, a small smirk playing at his lips and then continued, "Not to mention, I've heard whispers myself of Carmilla starting to make her move as well. However, I don't believe this. Carmilla isn't stupid, and she knows better then to hit us so early after my father's defeat. It would be smarter to build up her forces, and with us, she knows better to hit us when we're not expecting." 

"Yes. But," Trevor started, "If we were distracted by the forgemasters, it would be the perfect time to strike."

"That makes sense, yes. With the rumours of my father's forgemasters being active it would be smart to hit us when we're worrying about them, but she must know that we're considering her as a threat. I don't believe she would attack us when we know she might possibly be a threat." He said, frowning, he twirled a strand of his hair around his finger, pursing his lips. 

"What shall we do, then?" Sypha asked. He looked up at her. She was facing away from them, looking out the window. 

"Nothing." Alucard shrugged. Sypha spun around immediately, her eyes going wide. Trevor raised one eyebrow lazily, he was smiling which confused him. He narrowed his eyes at him in confusion, but shook the look away quickly.

"Nothing? We're just going to wait around and let them come to us?" Sypha asked, dumbfounded. 

"Who's to say they're going to come to us?" he drawled, "Yes, we'll be a threat to them, and _yes_ it would be the smartest thing to do. But then again, they don't _need_ to take us out. If they act without us knowing, they don't need to worry about us." He said, tapping his cheek with the pad of his pointer finger. 

"That's… fair. But we're just going to sit around and do _nothing_?" Her frown deepened. 

Alucard frowned. "Well not nothing _nothing_." He said, squinting at her. "We're not going to go out and try to find out what they're doing. But it would be prudent to check the perimeter of our castle and the Belmont hold, and perhaps see if there's any gossip in the nearby towns." He shrugged, he was sounding more and more uncertain as he spoke, but he didn't let it get to him. He tapped his tea cup, frowning for he could see the bottom of the cup. He sighed. 

"I'm simply saying we've got nothing to worry about. Even if we were to get attacked, we're all capable fighters, Carmilla or the forgemasters will be nothing to use even if they bring the night hoards." He added with a shrug. "But that doesn't mean _you_ have to do nothing. If you want to try and search, be my guest." He shrugged again, rolling his shoulders and stretching his arms over his head with a lazy, long yawn and he shifted his position on the counter a little bit, he uncrossed his legs moving to sit from cross legged, to sitting with one ankle crossed over the other. He'd gotten bored with this topic. 

Sypha murmured something to herself and turned away from the window. "I'm going to see if I can find anything about this." She said and she gave Alucard a small smile as she passed him and then disappeared down the hall. He watched her go, frowning and he shook his head. 

Trevor, who had been unnaturally quiet throughout the conversation, finally spoke up, voice firm. "Something is bothering you." He said, it wasn't a question, but a statement, Alucard rolled his eyes. 

"Nothing is bothering me, Belmont." He sneered. 

"I know you like to joke about it, because you're a prick, but I'm not a moron. I've travelled with you long enough to know when something is up." Trevor hissed, Alucard wasn't sure if he was 'angry' at Alucard or at him denying what he was saying but he found his anger misplaced. Though he couldn't say anything because he hadn't needed to sneer at the man. 

"Oh? That's a shocker." Trevor bared his teeth at him, but composed himself a moment later and heaved a sigh. 

"Look," Trevor started, touching his temple and flicking his hand out with exasperation and he heaved a sigh, "You're honestly a real piece of work but I really do care about you, as _shocking_ as that sounds. And I can tell that something is up. So don't waste your time lying or trying to deflect my question. What. Is. Bothering. You?" He asked, voice low and demanding. 

Alucard debated just not answering, he debated just getting up and leaving, but Trevor would just follow. He shook his head, propping his chin on his fist and sighed deeply. Trevor watched him.

"Why are you here?" He asked and Trevor blinked. 

"What?" Trevor asked, he leaned back in his chair, almost as if to make it seem like he was indifferent but he saw the way Trevor was caught off guard by the question.

"I asked you, why are you here." He repeated, eyes narrowing. 

"We're not allowed to visit friends?" Trevor asked, his annoyance melting to genuine confusion. Now it was Alucard's turn to grow angry, his anger sparking like adding fuel to the fire. He dropped down from the counter like a child and he forced himself into Trevor's personal space leaning down over him. 

"And yet, your arrival is timed almost _perfectly_ with rumours of my father's forgemasters acting up. Or is that just a coincidence?" He snapped. Trevor looked afraid, he really did. He could see his reflection in the man's blue eyes, could see the way his features had changed, his eyes were red, fangs longer and he snarled. 

At Trevor's silence, he pushed himself away from the man, another snarl forcing itself past his lips and he clenched his hands. He paced for a few moments, breathing hard and glaring daggers at the floor. He wanted to grab something and smash it. He wanted to throw something, to smash whatever it was he could get his hands on. But that was childish. He refused to look up, he refused to look at Trevor, which was petty but he could not find himself to care. He had gotten his confirmation, they were only here because they needed him, not because they cared. 

That hurt. 

Why did that hurt?

His whole life he'd been nothing but someone stuck under a title. The son of Dracula. Alucard. The one who would defeat Dracula. After his father's death he'd thought he figured he could live his life as whoever he had just wanted, with the two people who had helped him see his worth past just his titles and the things he had been branded as. But here they were, coming after him because he was _Alucard_ and he had helped beat his father. 

"I _cannot_ believe-" he started (still refusing to look at Trevor) but he couldn't find it in himself to finish his words. His breathing was hard, heavy, more frantic than it had been. 

They don't care. 

_They don't care_

His anger died just as quickly as it had raised, his eyes slipped back their gold colouring, dull and distant. His hands fell at his sides limp, marks in the form of crescents leftover in his skin for how hard his nails had been digging into his skin. His head hung, ashamed. He turned to the counter, gripping the countertop so hard his knuckles were white and he bit back the unwelcome years burning at the edge of his eyes. He was crying? Was he that pathetic? Was he really going to cry over the fact that Sypha and Trevor were here because they needed his help and not because they truly cared about him. 

No. He wasn't going to cry. But he was pretty goddamn close. 

"Adrian?" Trevor's voice was soft when he spoke, and the use of his name, his _true_ name made his head snap up. He turned to Trevor, and hated the way Trevor was looking at him. There was pity in his eyes. 

"Where did you-" he asked, but found it didn't matter, so he shut up. Trevor didn't acknowledge that. It doesn't matter if Trevor knows his real name.

"What's wrong?" He asked and the fact that he was asking that pulled some sort of half laugh half sob from him. A choked noise and it makes him wince.

"Don't look at me like that," he says instead and Trevor blinks confused, "Don't look at me like you care." He finishes, his voice barely loud enough to be heard and he turns on his heels. 

He does not have it in himself to deal with these emotions right now and he finds he really just needs to be alone and work things out within his mind and just _not_ freak out because he's still the host and he can't just disappear. He got maybe halfway down the hall, in between Sypha and Trevor's room when something grabs his wrist and he looked over his shoulder to see Trevor followed him. 

Of course he followed him.

Trevor was still looking at him with concerned eyes and Alucard wanted nothing more than to throw himself into the ocean if it meant he didn't have to see Trevor look at him that. 

"Alucard, talk to me." Trevor pleads. He genuinely cannot understand why Trevor was looking at him like he cared, he didn't understand why Trevor was even bothering to pretend. It was infuriating, it made him want to scream. He wanted to shout and yell and roar and he wanted to just tell Trevor to fuck off. But Trevor is making an effort, Alucard can see that. It genuinely seems like he really is making an effort, though Alucard does not understand why. 

Trevor is still grabbing onto his wrist and he’s holding so tight Alucard knows he is not going to get out of this. He couldn’t say no to Sypha but this wasn’t Sypha, and Trevor was a stubborn bastard. They could spend hours glaring at one another and he was not in the mood for that. He looked at the man, dragged his eyes over the man’s body. He looked good in the clothing he had given him, and though it was a ridiculous thing, to show as much skin as he did, Alucard appreciated it. He shook his head, eyes dropping to the ground. He couldn’t do this. Trevor loosened his hold on his hand and stepped forwards, so much so he was in his personal space but Alucard didn’t mind, not _too_ much. He just… didn’t understand. Nothing made sense and it was driving him mad. Why did Trevor care? Why did it bother him? 

He opened his mouth, looking up, but Trevor, ever the mind reader, beat him to it. “Do you really think we’re only here because we need your help?” He asked, voice soft. He was incredibly close now. Close like they had been in the morning, but it wasn’t a comfortable thing this time. He felt trapped, but confused crashed into him like a wave and he blinked. 

"You're… not?" He questioned. 

Trevor scoffed, though there was no animosity behind it and he stepped closer, Alucard didn't move, didn't do anything about Trevor stepping into his personal space. 

"Of course not. I know… I know it looks that way. And maybe that's why Sypha is here, not to throw her under the wagon or anything, but it's not why _I'm_ here." He said, eyes determined and set. He let go of Alucard's hand. 

They were so close that their chests were touching, Trevor's nose just a hair away from brushing against Alucard and his heart was hammering. He was about to say something, but that's when he noticed it. Trevor's eyes dropped down for a moment, landing on his lips before they darted back up and Alucard watched once more as Trevor's pupils blew wide, obscuring the colour of his eyes into nothing but two rings of blue. And that's when he realized it. 

Trevor was here for _him._

There were two things he could in this situation really, he could ride and face everything that was laid out in front of him. Trevor, his most probably attraction (based on his eyes) and the fact that here was here for him. Or, he could be a coward and turn and run

"I'm sorry." He whispered as he turned. 

And run he did.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little bit of a shorter chapter since I'm smack bam in the middle of a writing block but I'm,,, happy,, enough with it. I even put it through a grammar checker but idk if that helped much.

Perhaps run was the wrong word to use for it. 

It wasn’t ‘running’ per se, but he had not faced his fears. If his father, or his mother for that matter, had been around, they would have called it running from his fears. He should have just faced Trevor, he should have just acknowledged him and what had just happened. But he had turned away like a child. He hadn’t made it far, though. Where could he go where Trevor wouldn’t find him. Trevor Belmont was nothing if not persistent and he would find him even if Alucard went into the deepest, darkest corners of the castle.

Trevor has tried to stop him, but one look over his shoulder, eyes pleading and Trevor had backed down, and Alucard was forever grateful for that. If Trevor had come after him once more he would have done something he regretted, he would have messed up something between them. Trevor would have hated him and never wanted to talk to him again. So, he was glad the man had not followed. 

That did not mean he did not _want_ to speak to Trevor. He decided not to hide, to go somewhere Trevor could find him if he wanted. He _would_ speak to Trevor about all of this, but he wouldn't do it right away. His emotions were still at an all-time high and he didn't trust himself to not act like a bloody moron. More so than he already had. 

Biting back a sigh at his own stupidity, Alucard settled himself on one of the balconies the castle sported. It was fairly easy to access, and it overlooked the beaten-down cobblestone pathway that led to the doors of his home. He sat on the banister of the balcony, the cold autumn wind nipping at his cheeks, at his nose. He frowned, watching the leaves on the trees blow in the wind. It was peaceful, calm. The smell of rain lingered, but hard rain never lasted more than five minutes. In the aftermath of the storm, it almost seemed to reflect his mood. It was quite jarring to see the sky to be so calm after the lightning and thunder from perhaps a half-hour earlier.

A vulture soared overhead. Its massive wings stretched to their full span, catching the wind currents and letting it fly. He watched the vulture soar above, looking for food, for carcasses or dying animals, smiling softly. He scratched at the back of his neck, shuddering at the feeling of the wind against his skin and wished he could just go back in time. If he had not been so afraid of something he had not known how to face, this would not be as complicated as things were. He had no clue about where to find Sypha, and Trevor would most likely want some time alone after all that. He most likely thought Alucard had rejected him. He'd seen the way Trevor's eyes dropped and the way his eyes changed and he'd still run. 

He was a fool. But perhaps that was not going to be the end of the world. 

Sitting on the balcony, it reminded him of when he was younger. Sometimes his mother would bring him out here to get some air. He would watch the clouds and his mother would read, all while humming a tune to herself. Sitting there, he seemed to remember every time he came out here with his mother. It reminded him of all the times where sometimes he would sit with Trevor and just think. Or sit in silence. It reminded him of all the time he had come to her asking for help or for advice, and all the times she had given him just that.

__

_"Mother?" Adrian’s voice was soft, even as a teenager he was soft-spoken. Just barely louder than a whisper, but still easy to hear. Lisa turned her head to him, smiling at him gently and she closed her book after marking the page._

_“Yes?” She answered, cocking her head. She gave him a gentle smile, the one that made people warm inside, like the sun beating gently on your skin. He sat up from where he'd been laying on the ground looking at the clouds._

_“Would you dislike me if I liked a boy?” He asked. It was an odd question to ask out of the blue, but his mother only smiled at him and folded her hands over her lap. She raised an eyebrow at him, but it was not a judging look, it never was with her. _

_Well, why do you ask?” She inquired and Adrian felt his cheeks flush, he looked away but his mother did not laugh or tease him. She waited patiently until Adrian turned to look back at her. He watched her for a moment, too caught up in his pride, but eventually, he huffed. He crossed his arms, tapping his foot on the ground and for a moment, he did not speak. He hesitated. His mother waited. Not speaking.._

_"There is a boy in town. I see him when we go down. He smiles at me when I look to him and he is the only one who is not afraid of me. He is gentle and nice to me.” He muttered, his gaze dropped to the ground. He felt embarrassed, not for liking the boy, but for the eyes upon him._

_”How do you feel about this boy?” His mother asked, her voice was gentle and soft, but her voice betrayed nothing. He went stiff, his own body betraying him._

_"I-" he paused. He pondered on the question for a moment. He was unsure. He did not quite know how he felt about this boy. He was nice. He was pretty, with eyes the colour of the sky and dark hair. He liked the boy, but he did not know exactly how he felt about him._

_So he said: "I do not know. Would you hate me if I said yes?" He asked his mother, his voice was softer now, softer than it had ever been before. He was unsure how his mother even heard him._

_His mother's face softened and he felt as though she was going to scold him, but she only patted her leg and beckoned him towards her. He stood up and walked over to her, though he was much too old to sit upon his mother's knee. He squinted at Lisa. She smiled at him. "My dear Adrian," she mused bringing her hand up, cupping his cheek, "I could never hate you. No matter what you do. You are my son and I will always love you. Whether you like boys or girls, that's no business of mine." She spoke, smiling gently. He felt like crying, just a little. His mother was such a gentle soul. Such a sweet loving being, but she held such determination that he understood why his father loved her._

_He blinked, he was not embarrassed, but confused. He pondered over it for a moment. He did like the boy, but how was he to act around him? He did not know how to speak to the boy without sounding odd to him. He had no clue. He turned to his mother; and asked_

“What am I to do now?” 

“Pardon?”

Alucard blinked. Had he spoken aloud? He turned his head only to come face to face with Sypha. She held a platter of food, biscuits, though he did not know where he got them from, perhaps they had been her own food from the roads. He blinked at her again and cleared his throat. 

“Apologies,” he said, cursing himself. _Stop apologizing all the time you fool,_ “Did I speak out loud?” He asked, Sypha laughed gently as he put the platter down on the small table that was on the balcony. It was practically empty, but he didn't say anything. She dried off one of the chairs and sat down with a hum. He watched her, squinting at her in confusion, but he did not ask anything. 

“What do mean by ‘what am I to do now’” She asked him. It was a fair question, but still, one he did not want to answer. Then again, it would be an opportunity to speak about everything with anyone. With Sypha, who at times reminded him of his mother. He frowned gently.

“With all of this,” he said gently, “With everything that has happened and everything that is happening. I am… unsure and then there’s everything with Trevor and-”

“What about Trevor?” Sypha cut him off.

Alucard paused, snapping his mouth shut. 

“Lord,” he whispered breathlessly.

_I’m in love with Trevor Belmont_ He realized with growing horror. It would not be the first time he had fallen for a boy, in fact, though he liked both genders and could see the appeal in both, he preferred men. It was not the horror and being in love with the man, but it was the horror of _who_ it was he had fallen for. _Trevor Belmont_ of all people was the person he had fallen for. He took a deep, shuddering breath, his voice coming out cracked at the end. His panic was growing, growing and growing until it seemed to take over, it surrounded him, held him captive until suddenly it was gone. Disappearing as suddenly as everything had appeared. He rubbed his temples, sighing gently. 

“Are you alright?” Sypha asked, concern dripping from her voice, which pulled him from his mind. He looked at her and sighed.

“I need to find Trevor,” he said jumping back from the balcony railing, Sypha stood, he paused in front of her and stared down at her. She planted her hands on her hips. He scowled, stepping around her but Sypha still followed.

“What are you going to do?” She asked, trying her best to keep up with him, he wanted to answer, but in truth, he wasn't entirely sure what he was going to do. What was he to do? There would be no 'sorry I turned away after you basically told me you had some form of attraction to me but I am awful at expressing feelings' and stuff like that. 

"I'm… unsure," he admitted, "I just, I know I need to talk to him. I need to tell him... something." He frowned, he felt as though he had said too much and he was very grateful that Sypha said nothing, just nodded her head and walked beside him as they searched for Trevor. They checked his room first, and then the kitchen. There were a million places one could go to in this castle should they want to be alone to think or sulk. Though Trevor did not know the layout of the castle other than few floors he knew, it was possible he had wandered. He sighed. Trevor, however, was a creature of habit. Alucard remembered the day they beat his father, he had slipped out the night after and just… stood in the middle of the burnt remains of the Belmont hold. Trevor had come too, and upon seeing Alucard had joined him. He had rested his head on the back of his shoulder, had murmured something about the defeat of his father and they stood in silence. 

If there was anywhere that Trevor would be, it would be there. 

He leads Sypha down the winding stairs and out the building, he called to him his sword just in the extremes he needed it. Sypha threw him a curious look and he shrugged in return. This was most likely a situation he would not need it. These past few months, however, having a weapon with him brought him a form of comfort. He closed the grand doors behind him once he had Sypha were out and turned to the forest heading towards the Belmont hold. 

They walked in almost comfortable silence, there was too much tension surrounding him for it to be. He was tense, the muscles in his back tight and he felt like he was brimming with tension, ready to burst. He was too deep in thought to know just how far they'd gotten. He was unsure of how far they had made it (a good distance he hoped), when Sypha called out to him, the fear in her voice clear. 

"Alucard, look," She whispered. He turned to her, following her gaze to the ground and his heart seemed to sink. There was an imprint in the ground, not human, nor animal. A creature of the night. The imprint was deep, four claws and it seemed to kill the grass where it had walked. What was even more unusual, however, was that it was a single print. A single paw. The print was on its own. Just one. He looked at it for a moment too long before looking back at Sypha. He narrowed his eyes. 

"Stay alert." He warned. And then they were off with a new sense of purpose. Find Trevor before he had to fight the creatures of the night alone. 

The silence now was nothing but tense. They kept quiet, their steps fight, eyes scanning around them. It was almost fitting that the day they speak about attacks, there are prints- or print rather. He checked over his shoulder every once in a while, making sure nothing stalked them from behind. Spa walked beside him, hands ready, tense. They travelled quickly, making good progress in the forests surrounding the Belmont hold and the castle. There was still a great deal of land they had yet to check. They made sure most of the forest was clear, and then headed towards the Belmont hold. It was rather dark now, the clouds having built up again. It was going to rain once more. All the better to find Trevor and get back to the castle before their luck turned worse. 

He was not sure of the time that had passed by the time they were growing frustrated with searching for their companion. Sypha was growing more and more unnerved and on edge due to the print they had seen (and yet to encounter any other). And he was getting annoyed. Still, he doubted he would allow himself to stop searching until they found Trevor. But it was clear to both of them, that they were both getting desperate to find him. As they turned towards the Belmont hold, he figured they check there and then backtrack if they saw did not catch sight of Trevor. They were walking towards the 'magical door of death' when something- a fallen branch cracked behind them. It was such a quiet sound Sypha didn't hear it, but it was clear as day to him. In one quick movement, he'd unsheathed his sword and spun. A moment later he had his throat at whoever made the noises throat, only to come face to face with Trevor. His eyes were wide, the fear in them there was only a moment before confusing replaced it. Alucard moved back, unsure of what to say and put a good distance between the two of them. He felt… drained, as if moving as quickly as he had, had used up all his energy. He grunted as he sheathed his sword, hanging it on his belt. He was not fit enough.

Sypha was at Trevor's side within moments, apologizing and saying he had caught them off guard. Alucard waited at the side, awkwardly toeing the ground below him. Once she finished, she stepped away and Trevor looked over at him. Biting back any hesitation, he stalked over to him, though he said nothing, prompting Trevor to speak first. 

"What are you doing out here?" He whispered, grabbing Alucard's sleeve and tugging gently so they were at eye level. He wondered the same

."What? No sign language this time?" Alucard answered instead, and though Trevor grinned at that, he wanted his answer. He frowned, "Sypha didn't tell you? We're- well, I, I suppose, was looking for you." He said, his voice was soft, as it always was but it seemed to take Trevor by surprise.

"And why was that?" He inquired, looking around as if to make sure no one around when Sypha was perhaps ten feet away from them. 

"I do not think it prudent to say out here, we should head back to the castle, or even down into the Belmont hold." He murmured, voice right in Trevor's ear. Perhaps it was simply his imagination but he could have sworn he saw a shiver run up the man's back. He paid it no mind. 

"Not for lack of sounding repetitive, but why is that?" Trevor said, laughing just a little bit. Alucard squinted at him, wondering how he could find it in himself to laugh at a moment like this when there were monsters in the forest and they didn't know if said monsters were dangerous or not. They could take them if need be, but it would be tedious. And risky. It was a risk he was not sure he wanted to take. In his current state, though he could perhaps fight, he would do more harm than good. 

"I'll tell you once we get back, come now. You know what Sypha told you. It's unsafe." He said gently, Trevor looked at him. There was something in his gaze that Alucard did not quite recognize. Denial? The readiness to protest against what he was saying. He was almost treating him like a child and he felt bad for that. He meant to speak, but he paused. Trevor's eyes were not on his, they had dropped to his lips. Alucard smirked, and Trevor looked up, offering some sort of half sheepish, half smug smile at being caught. 

'_Once we're inside._' He mouthed. He decided to ignore the way Trevor's eyes darkened at that. He turned and nodded to Sypha. She fell into step beside them, but as they walked, it was clear she wanted to get back quick. She was walking a few good steps in front of them, Trevor had been sticking close to his side but had distanced himself a bit. He was two steps behind him now. 

"I meant to ask," he said to start, looking over his shoulder at Trevor, who raised an eyebrow at him, "What were _you_ doing out here?" Trevor smiled at him.

"Well, I figured you perhaps wanted some time alone after.. Y'know," he said and Alucard winced, "So I decided to get a step up on your plans and figured that 'well, I've got nothing else to do' why not do a perimeter check." He shrugged. 

"Did you find anything?" He frowned, looking over his shoulder once more. 

"Other than the footprint you found?" He asked. 

Alucard nodded, though he found the action was stiff and he silently cursed himself for that. Trevor didn't seem to notice. "Other than the footprint we found." He confirmed. 

"Nah. Didn't see anything." He said. 

And that was precisely the moment the creature of the night decided to attack.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Not beta-ed due to personal reasons, I apologize for any mistakes you may find

The monster exploded out of the trees with the likeness that it had been shot out of a cannon and his heart sank.

It screamed, shrieking like a bat out of hell as it slammed straight into Trevor, hissing, biting snarling and Alucard watched, his fear growing as Trevor struggled. He stood there uselessly for a moment before the reality of what was happening hit him. Sypha had her hands poised, ready to attack but it was clear that she could not help Trevor without hitting him too. When the monster reeled back to prepare an attack Alucard pounced. He’d pulled out his sword and rushed the created of the night, tumbling into the trees across from them with a hiss. He twisted to avoid getting mauled and brought his side up and then down in one hard swing, cutting its arm clean off. Before it could scream, Alucard spun, putting what remained of its effort into beheading the monster. He watched, surprised he had managed and he leaned against his sword for support. He nodded to Sypha out of the corner of his eye and she turned to the body and burned it to ash. 

“It was a scout.” He panted as he turned to face Sypha and Trevor, the latter of which was still on the ground. He was nursing his shock, and perhaps a bruised arm. They blinked.

“What?” They asked in unison.

“It was a scout!" he snapped, "We need to get out of here before more come." He finished. He pushed himself up, off from leaning on his sword and when neither Sypha nor Trevor move, he snarled at them. 

"We can take them," Trevor said, grip on his whip tightening. He must have gotten it out in the struggle. 

"_He_ can't." Sypha interrupted as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. He looked at her, breath coming in quiet pants. Though it's getting easier to breathe, it is taking much longer than he would have liked. He closed his eyes, mustering all his strength to keep himself upright. Trevor looked ready to protest. He looked ready to argue that they could fight. But when Alucard looked up at him, eyes narrowed, it shut down anything he would have said. He walked up to them, being careful to not show how tired he felt. 

"Keep an eye out, don't let your guard down," he warned. "Trevor you take lead, Sypha, point." He finished with a jerk of his chin towards the castle and they fell into line. If they knew he had put himself in between them intentionally, they said nothing. 

Trevor looked over his shoulder at him, and Alucard looked away. He pretended he had not seen the concern in his eyes. He pretended that the warmth that spread within him was just tiredness and not that it was the way Trevor looked at him. He got some strength back after a few moments of walking, and soon.he was not shuffling like a walking corpse. He was in no condition to fight, however, and he was urging them forward faster and faster. His gut feeling was telling him something was off, something was not right. 

"Stop." He said suddenly as they headed back towards the cobblestone road that led to the front entrances. Sypha and Trevor stopped so abruptly he walked right into Trevor's back, and Sypha into his. Trevor looked at him, confusion shining in his eyes. He brought a finger to his lips and stepped around Trevor, pointing to the door. 

There, circling the entrance was another monster. Its body was crooked, bent at odd angles and with limbs that should not have been able to function the way they were twisted. It opened and closed its mouth, teeth shining in the dim light. Its eyes were the colour of fresh blood, shining like stars against the matted black fur on its body. It looked to be alone. 

"I can sneak up on it and once it's out, we can get inside." He said turning to his companions. They both raised an eyebrow simultaneously, he scowled.

"I'm _fine_," he snapped, "I've got my strength back, I can take on one that's all on its own." He defended even if none of them had said anything. He didn't want to be someone that slowed them down, he wanted to be able to show that he could fight and that he didn't need to depend on them.

Trevor and Sypha shared a look and Alucard was ready to just turn and go. If they could not find it in them to trust him, then fine. Sypha spoke up before he could anything irrational or childish, however. 

"I don't like it, but there's a chance it could see us before we sneak up on it. You can move the fastest and quietest. It would be more prudent to let Alucard take it," She spoke that last sentence to Trevor, who almost seemed annoyed at having that explained to him. She turned away from Trevor to address him, crossing her arms, “You, do it quick, stay out of trouble.” She chided.

“Yes, mother.” He laughed.

He turned away from them, gripping the handle of his sword tight and with a frown, he slipped into the line of trees. He had always prided himself on his ability to be silent, on his ability to travel unheard and with considerable speed. He narrowed his eyes as he slipped closer to the monster. He slowed his pace as he approached and when the moment was right, he pounced. He moved before the creature could even have a chance to see him and he drove his sword through its chest, piercing its heart before it could scream or alert any of the others. He pulled his sword from the corpse with a grunt. He turned to look at his companions to tell them it was alright but his heart sunk all the way when he saw the two black creatures of the night looming behind them.

“No!” he roared as he stepped towards, only for his steps to falter, “It was a trap! Behind yo-” he started when something cracked above him. A long, drawn-out cracking sound. He ignored it when something crashed to his right. A stone Gargoyle, bits of the stone cracking and hitting him in the side. He hissed in pain at the feeling and he jumped back to avoid another stone gargoyle falling at his side. He turned to leave the entranceway when he suddenly crashed to the ground, a searing pain blooming at his back. He cried out, like that of a child who injured themselves. He felt pressed at his back and he was certain something had cracked when he realized.

More fire bloomed on his skin, the feeling that it was burning made him whimper and he tried to stand up but found he couldn't. Four claws dug into his back, keeping him on the ground. He tried to reach for his sword, but it had clattered to the ground out of his reach. 

"Get off of him you ugly prick!" Someone - Sypha - shouted, her voice seeming to come out as if it were being amplified. It almost reminded him of his father. He forced himself to keep his eyes open as he looked up at Trevor and Sypha rush towards them. His back hurt. He could feel the warm blood on his back as the monster upon him jumped back at the two new threats. He whimpered a broken sound. He pushed himself up with Sypha's help as Trevor rushed the creature. 

"Are you alright?" Sypha asked, he leaned against her. 

"M' fine." He managed. He narrowed his eyes as he looked around and called his sword to him, Sypha glared at him.

"You can't." She said fending off a smaller Monster. Trevor was still fighting with the monster that had pushed him down. It was a massive thing. Smooth skin. It looked almost like a bat, wings folded over his sides but its legs were long and lanky, the joints in all the wrong places, his eyes were blue and bright and coming from its right front foot were tendrils of black smoke. Blood- _his_ blood, stained the creatures claws. He narrowed his eyes as he tried to push himself upright. With a hiss, he held his hand out, sending his sword towards the burningpaw. It pierced its skin, screeching and thrashing. It swung it's left paw up, the one that did not seem to be burning and tossed Trevor into the air. Alucard moved before he knew what he was doing, catching the man and collided into the ground with Trevor on top of him. 

He cried out, scream dying in his throat as his vision blurred, darkened and started failing him. Trevor pushed himself off of him, but it didn't stop how pain pulsed beneath his skin. _God_ did it hurt. Trevor was at his side within moments, pulling him up, but he simply pushed him away shaking his head. He wasn't their top priority, he would just be putting the two of them in more danger. It was not fair to ask that they worry after him when their had monsters to kill. Though he seemed to hate having to do it, Trevor pulled away from him, promising to come back and he turned back towards the fray.

Alucard swayed, having trouble keeping himself uptight and conscious. He tried, good lord he tired, but soon, he found himself falling backward. He collided with a broken piece of stone from one of the fallen gargoyles. He staggered to his back, hitting the ground with barely a sound. He hissed, but his arm gave out beneath him, pain shooting through it and with sinking realization, he realized his arm was probably broken. Closing cuts and healing bruises wouldn't be an issue but mending broken bones would not be easy, certainly not in this state. 

He closed his eyes, feeling blood trickle down his back, he could feel a gash in his side, blood seeped through his fingers. If he was going to bleed out, he hoped it would not he now if he was going to die, let it be after they win. He slumped sideways onto the ground, his cheek pressed against the cold ground and let his exhaustion take him away, thinking one more big 'fuck you' to the world as he did so. 

~~~~

When Alucard came to, eyes straining to stay open, he could not decide if he was thankful or disappointed to be alive. He remained motionless on the ground for a moment, levelling his breathing in case something was around and he looked around. Hearing nothing, he pushed himself up with his food arm and squinted. He counted at least five burning corpses, all of which were creatures of the night. His head was pounding, he was dizzy, vision blurring, but he forced himself to stay awake. 

A tuft of fur caught his attention and Alucard snapped his head around to look at it. He almost screamed, barely holding back a whimper as he looked at Trevor. He was on his side, seemingly unharmed but unconscious. He looked around frantically for Sypha, only to find her face down on the ground as he'd been, he could see she was breathing at least. He scrambled to Trevor's side, only because he was closer and nothing else, not because he was worried sick for the man more he was for Sypha, and nothing else. 

Leaning on his good arm, he kneeled next to Trevor and grabbed his chin, turning the unconscious man towards him. There was a small cut on his lips and one above his eyes, but they should heal fine. It was the scar right under his collarbone that worried him. Trevor had done well to cover it, and the blood had clotted so it was not as bad as it was at first, but it was still worrying. He cupped his face, looking at the man and resting his forehead against Trevor's. 

"Don't you die on me, Trevor, I forbid it." He murmured, voice soft and shaky. He closed his eyes, checking Trevor's pulse. It was faint and it took a moment to feel it but it was there, he was alive. Pain exploded in his arm as he brought the broken one up to cup Trevor's cheek, but he ignored it and brought his good hand down to grasp one of Trevor's. They were so close, foreheads and noses touching. His lips lingered just over Trevor's. One small movement downwards and it would be a kiss. That little nagging voice at the back of his mind told him to do it. Just lean in, Trevor clearly liked him, but he didn't. He just kept his eyes closed and held Trevor. Murmuring soft pleadings. 

When he opened his eyes once more, he didn't expect Trevor's to be staring back at him. His breath caught in his throat and he could do nothing but stare back at him. 

"Alucard?" He asked, sounding confused.

"I'm here, I'm here." He whispered giving his hand a reassuring squeeze, Trevor grinned. 

"You called me Trevor." He said, voice hoarse, sounding both surprised and happy, Alucard laughed. He had not been aware that Trevor had been conscious enough to hear him speak. He found himself equally as surprised that he used his name. Yes, he had only called him by his last name before this moment, but it did not mean anything if he called him Trevor, not Belmont, right? After a moment he realized he should perhaps say something.

"Yeah," he shook his head gently, bringing a hand up to brush some hair from the man's face, Trevor hummed gently, "Yeah I did. You don't mind?" 

"I like it when you call me Trevor." He said, smiling softly, he slowly brought one hand up, hand on his neck, thumb brushing his cheek. Alucard was pretty sure he was blushing, but maybe Trevor could not see it, he didn't care. 

"I like calling you Trevor as well." He admitted, his voice no louder than a whisper. Every muscle in his body, even those in the broken arm, was screaming at him to lean down, to close the distance between them. It would not be hard, hell, if he changed the tilt of his head a fraction of an inch, they would be kissing. He blinked, unsure of what to do. To kiss Trevor would be… well, it would be all that he wanted. But the man was injured, that would be taking advantage of him. 

"I like _you_ too." Trevor said pulling Alucard from his thoughts and then, before Alucard could say anything, Trevor reached up and pulled him down, crashing their lips together. 

Alucard's eyes widened, body tensing, but he quickly relaxed, it took a moment, but by the Alucard was thinking of kissing back, Trevor had pulled back. He watched him, eyes glassy and distant. His mind was racing, a million thoughts passing and going and he did not know possibly what to do. He bit his lip, looking at Trevor, panting for breath. 

"I-" Trevor started.

"Don't," Alucard choked out, "Don't say anything, you're injured, you're dying," he whispered brushing his thumb over Trevor's lips, "You've lost a lot of blood, Trevor, you don't know what you're saying, quiet now, rest. I will go see if Sypha is alright. You don't move too much now, okay?" He stood up, not waiting for Trevor's answer and he dashed over to Sypha's side. She was getting to her knees, rubbing her temples and Alucard gently helped her to her feet. She leaned against him, leaning on his bad side, making him wince.

"Trevor is injured, I believe my arm might be broken, let us get inside and deal with all of this." He said gently to her. Worry flashed across Sypha's features but she nodded once, narrowing her eyes. She seemed to be the one who was uninjured. She shook her head, muttering about how 'nothing ever goes well for us does it?" And she was off. 

Sypha headed to Trevor, helping him up with a grunt. He could feel Trevor’s eyes on his back, staring at his back, but he still refused to look at him. His mind was still reeling from the kiss. He was dying, truly dying to walk up to him, grab the collars of his shirt and pull him in for another kiss. He wanted to kiss the man again, he really did but there was no way that he could possibly do that. There was this lingering thought at the back of his mind, that while yes Trevor must like him, he had been delirious when he kissed him. 

His lips had felt the same they did the first time they had kissed. They weren't rough, but they weren't soft either. They were just in the middle and it felt so right. Trevor knew how to kiss as well, it was intoxicating just how Trevor knew how to kiss. He knew just when to made it more passionate, he knew when to keep it soft and loving, and he knew just how to make it good. But he had been too afraid to kiss him back, too shocked to do anything. 

Sypha placed her hand on his arm, and he looked down at her, she gave him one of those knowing looks and he followed after her as she lead both him and Trevor back into the castle. 

The evening after that passed in a blur. Sypha put his arm in a sling until he would be able to muster enough strength to heal the broken bones, and Sypha wrapped Trevor's chest up in bandages after she went over and disinfected the wound. No one worried over the two small cuts on Trevor's face, they would heal and most probably leave no scars. He could not remember much, not really, his vision was still blurry at times and he had a hard time remembering what was happening. By the time Sypha had them all healed up, Alucard had been waiting by the top of the stairs, just sitting and staring blankly at the stairs. He had been trying his best to avoid Trevor. Which was not necessarily very hard for Sypha would not leave his side, doting over him like a mother hen.

Alucard's mind was elsewhere when he hears footsteps. Heavy, slow deliberate steps behind him. He shut his eyes tight, willing Trevor to go away, but the other man stopped right behind him and Alucard wished he had died earlier if anything because he wouldn't have to deal with this conversation. 

_You're my son. I did not raise you to be a coward_ His father's voice echoed in his head. He shut his eyes tighter, grabbing his head and resting his forehead on his knees. 

_You're a brave boy, Adrian, go on, make me proud._

Alucard narrowed his eyes, hissing slightly and finally, he opened his eyes, stood up and turned to Trevor. He was wearing the clothing he had given him the first day there were here, and he frowned. He dragged his eyes over Trevor’s person, eyeing the bandages visible under his shirt, and his heart felt a small pang of worry, but Trevor looked fine, he looked as if he had not just almost died. Though he seemed alright, Alucard was worried. He was worried about the conversation that he knew they were going to have. He was worried about what Trevor was going to say. Was he angry? Hell, he could be furious but Trevor was so good at masking his emotions that he could probably mask any emotion. Alucard raised an eyebrow at him, masking his nervousness with boredom.

“Hello, Trevor.” He murmured, eyes on Trevor, not backing down. 

“Hi.” 

“I suppose we need to talk?”

Trevor grinned, though it was a forced thing and it pained him to do it. Alucard frowned, and Trevor placed his hands on his hips, lips now downturned.

“We need to talk.”


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is not at all where this chapter was supposed to go but oops. I'm loving this chapter tho ngl

_We need to talk_

When did those four words ever end well? 

"Not out here we're not." He said crossing his arms.

"Somewhere more private then?" Trevor asked, his voice sounded desperate, like he needed to say something. God forbid he could not just say it. There was no one here. No but them, Sypha who was in the kitchen and the ghosts of his parents and old companion he keeps seeing around. But those were not real. No one would overhear them. So why was he telling him to say it somewhere else?

He knew that humouring Trevor would only lead to bad things. He knew that he would eventually regret it, but he did not really care. He huffed and grabbed Trevor's hand, pulling him away from the staircase. He wasn't quite sure where to go, where to talk to Trevor. So he directed Trevor down the hall where their rooms were and took a left at the end of the hall, he dragged the man up the stairs, refusing to look behind him even though he was gripping the man's wrist. He did not know where he was taking him, but when he nudged him into a room, and closed it behind him, he tossed aside any hesitation and faced Trevor. 

"So, talk." He said, he tried to cross his arms, but with a broken arm in a sling, it certainly was not easy. A headache had been building over the evening, and it was hitting him full force. 

"What are you afraid of, Alucard?" Trevor asked, shifting his weight onto one leg, it was infuriating how pretty he looked. Symmetrical face, high cheekbones, narrow eyes. Full lips. But he found himself annoyed with the man, and the headache certainly wasn't helping. He was in no mood to talk, especially not this.

"You think I'm afraid? Afraid of what?" He said, narrowing his eyes.

"Us." Trevor says. 

_If there's something between us why did you run? Why did you leave me here alone?_

"There is nothing between us Trevor." Alucard lied and hated himself for every single word he managed to speak. He narrowed his eyes even more at the Belmont, wanting to die right there and then if he could take back those words. But Trevor didn't seem too bothered by that, as if he knew that it was a lie. He stepped towards Alucard, who was backed against the door and he crossed his arms and pretended that he wasn't as afraid as he was. 

Trevor's face softened and Alucard wanted to punch his face if it meant he didn't look at him that way. He was tired of having Trevor look at him with pity. He didn't want his pity, he did not _need_ his pity and he did not want to have to deal with this. Trevor stepped closer again, trapping him against the door, and Alucard looked away.

"You can't say that, surely you can see there's something there, I know you can see it." He whispered, grabbing Alucard's good hand. He was really starting to regret this. He was severely starting to hate that he had agreed to this. He pulled his hand away, shaking his head. 

"I can't Trevor- I don't-" he tried to speak his mind but the words didn't come to him. He didn't know what to say, what _could_ he do? He sighed gently, trying to step away, but Trevor kept him there pressed against the door. He narrowed his eyes at him. 

"Even after what happened? After that first kiss, after that second? You never pulled away." he asked, Alucard shook his head, trying to escape, but Trevor's have kept him grounded, he didn't know what to say. 

"The first one doesn't count, we were both drunk, the second- you were dying, you were bleeding out, you didn't know what you were saying. Stop- _stop_ giving me hope." He whimpered. There was no way he could refute not pulling away. With that, he pushed Trevor away, opened the door and left. He didn't run, he didn't hide, he just left. He just left. Turned on his heels and stalked out. He knew Trevor followed him, he could hear the man's steps behind him. Trevor's steps were heavy, it was easy to tell that the difference between him and Sypha. Sypha had light, barely audible steps, even if she wanted to be loud. Trevor, however, even when he wanted to be quiet, had loud steps that could be heard anywhere within a fifty-foot radius. He ignored him. 

He could hear Trevor calling to him, hoping to get his attention back. But he ignored him, still.

It was when Trevor grabbed his wrist that he snapped. He spun around, hitting away Trevor's hand with a snarl, hands poised to scratch, claw Trevor's hand away if even tried to touch him one more time. If Trevor put his hands on him it would be the end of all of this, he would snap and he would probably end up killing the man. He pulled his arm to his chest, narrowing his eyes and he bared his teeth at him. 

"Alucard-" the Belmont started. 

"Stop." He snapped. To his credit, Trevor _did_ stop. 

"I'm sorry if I- I fucked up clearly, let me make this right." He murmured stepping forward, hand coming up.

"Leave me alone!" he snapped again, his voice wavering, anyone could hear the fear in his voice, "Do you not understand that I don't want to be around you?" He shouted. "Not right now! So please- please leave me alone!" He begged. Trevor looked at him, eyes wide at his sudden outburst. Hurt flashed across his features, and Alucard hated, _hated_ how he could even have the _audacity_ look hurt. The bastard. 

"Adrian pl-”

“_Don’t you dare_.” He said. He had never heard his voice come out so level before. It almost sounded like he was channelling his father when he spoke, smooth and cold, it startled Trevor, who actually backed _up_. He could not believe this man and the gall that he had. Driving him up the wall and daring to use his name to try and get him to see in his favour. They stared at each other for a long moment. Nothing happened, neither of them did anything. The two of them were too stubborn to back down but while Trevor had stubbornness, he was angry, he was fuming and rage was good at getting him going. Then, Trevor dropped his head with a heavy sigh. 

“If you know what’s best for you,” he warned, shifting his weight from one leg to the other, brimming with nervous energy, “Stay away from me.” He finished and then stalked away.

He left Trevor standing there in the hallway, in a part of the castle he did not know, and he did not care. He was brimming with anger, overflowing and ready to burst. He was about to lose his control and he was going to break down. When he did, he did not know what he would do and that scared him. He did not know if he would just collapse to the ground and cry, or if he would freak out and break something, hurt himself. 

Maybe his anger towards Trevor was misplaced, perhaps he should have never snapped at him, but… he did have his right to do so. Right? How could he even think to imply there was something there after all he had done? Yeah, there _was_ something there, he would be ridiculous to deny it, but Trevor, he had left. He has kissed him, drunk out of his mind and he had not stopped him because he figured he would forget. He did not. Of course, he did not. Trevor had shown him affection, had given him something he had wanted, and then he had left. Some of this was his fault, he knew that, but _Trevor_ he _knew_ Alucard would not be alright. And he still left him alone in his childhood home with all his memories and still reeling from the fact that he had just killed his father.

Alucard had not even realized he was crying until his eyes stung so much it hurt. He pawed at his face with the back of his good hand, frantically wiping the tears. Shame hanging over him as if someone had draped a sheet over his head. 

“_What would mother and father think of me if they saw me like this? Lord, they’d probably be so very disappointed_.” He thought bitterly rubbing one eye carefully. He could feel an ache building over his right eye, certain it was going to be a bruise and he frowned. Normally, his bruises healed before they even had a chance to be visible, or for the pain to be noticeable. He sighed. He was falling apart at the seams. He was tired, sunken eyes, matted hair, failing speed, strength and regeneration, it was disastrous. 

He needed a bath.

Scratching his scalp, he flipped his hair to one side and headed back down the main staircase, walking in silence to the grand oak doors. He called his sword to him, feeling reassured to have the familiar weight in his hand and he stepped outside. He had not expected to see Sypha, not really, so when he caught sight of the speaker, he paused. 

“Do you- would you like some help?” He asked her as she hauled a piece of one of the broken gargoyles up. She looked over at him, startled, but to her credit, did not drop the piece of stone. She smiled at him, that gentle smile that made him feel warm and fuzzy inside, (akin to drinking a warm drink on a cold day) and shook her head. 

“I’ve got it, but thank you for the offer,” she hummed with a shrug, she raised her eyebrows after a moment, however, “What are you up to?”

“I need to clear my head.” He shrugged. Sypha narrowed her eyes at him, disapproving and in that moment she reminded him so much of his mother when one of her experiments failed. She looked at him curiously.

“Are you in good enough shape to be going out into the forest?” she asked, “We don’t know if there are still monsters in the forest.” 

“I’ll be alright, dear Sypha. Don’t worry about me.” He smiled as he walked over to her. He pressed a quick kiss on her forehead, murmuring a promise to be safe and turned. She said nothing, and he did not know why, but he was glad for it. He has his sword if anything went awry anyways. He would be fine. Maybe if he kept telling himself that it would become true. 

Alucard trekked through the forest with a grimace, even injured and running on fumes, and suddenly inexplicably hungry, he was quiet. His steps barely made any noise in the grass or the dead grass and cedar branches. He was tired and he ached all over but he knew just the place. It was a little way into the forest, but if he could find it, it would be worth. He remembered the first time his mother had shown him the hot spring. She had presented it to him with a wide smile saying “_It’s our little secret relaxation spot. You have to promise not to tell dad_”. It was a beautiful spot, nestled on the right side of a large river, surrounded by black stone, covered by two weeping willow trees. It was half-covered by a cave, the walls of which were shiny and looked like glass. He was unsure if they were still there, but his mother had filled a box with towels and somehow, by magic maybe, the towels were always clean as if they hand never been used. 

His steps faltered as he reached the river, it was not one of those small rivers you could walk through, it was a true one. Wide twelve feet with rocks and fallen logs in it. Closer to the where the hot spring was, was a path of rocks, stepping stones one had to carefully walk across to get to the other side. He crossed the stones with animal-like grace, moving quickly, hopping from stone to stone until he stood before the two weeping willows. He took a deep breath and stepped under them. The heat was the first thing that hit him, the steam hitting him but pulling nothing more than a content sigh from his lips. It took him a little bit of searching, but he eventually found the box, pulling it from where it rested with a sad smile. He grabbed a towel and closed the box with a sigh. He placed his sword down.

He started with his coat, pulling it off his shoulder and gently folding it on a stone. Then came his clothing, shirt, pants, underclothes and he tied the towel around his waist before turning towards the water, he was hidden by the cave wall and the trees here so he did not mind being in such a vulnerable position. He stepped into the water, clear blue and calling to him and once he could, he sunk down into the water until everything but his face was underwater. The heat of the water pulled a pleased groan from his lips that echoed in the cave and he relaxed. He had been in the hot springs multiple times when he was younger, but he was having trouble remembering what it had been like. Surely not this good. The feeling was heavenly.

His hair floated around him like a halo of gold in the water. Said water swirling around him and calming all his aches as he sat there, now mouth deep in the water, soothing his bruising and his arm, which he had been incredibly gentle with. The steam rising from the water curled around him, curling in the most interesting yet seemingly impossible patterns, caressing his face, calming him down. He could not remember the last time he had felt this relaxed. He closed his eyes, sinking a little deeper until the water level as just under his nose and he shivered. It felt good all the same. It helped, it really did, but his hunger remained, growing and growing.

He did not know how much time he had spent in the hot spring, (hours perhaps, at least one), relaxing, eyes closed when suddenly a branch snapped. His eyes snapped open, narrowed and darted from side to side, searching from what had done it.

“Oh,” someone said, and Alucard sunk deeper until his nose was under the water, pulling his arms around himself tighter, “Hi there.” Trevor Belmont said. 

He said nothing, just closed his eyes and did not look at him, but that was being too petty, so eventually, he opened his eyes and met Trevor’s gaze. “I thought I remembered telling you to stay away from me.” He muttered, voice bouncing off the cave walls. Trevor grimaced, shaking his head. Alucard narrowed his eyes even more at him.

“I was, I had no clue you would be here.” He said. He sounded sad, he did not care.

“I don’t believe that.”

“I promise it’s true.” He answered, his voice was heavy with some emotion that Alucard could not place. A silence hung over them for a few moments, minutes probably before Alucard heaved a sigh. He was getting tired of watching Trevor standing there awkwardly.

“Well?” he asked, unamused. Trevor furrowed his eyebrows, confused, “Are you going to come in or not? You made the trek down here, might as well enjoy it.” He said, voice deadpan. 

“Oh.” He said. He could have sworn he saw Trevor blush. 

He rolled his eyes, twirling a strand of hair around one finger, bored. “In that box there are some towels, at least have the decency to cover up. I’ll turn around, give you some privacy. And please don’t throw your clothing every which way, the foxes will steal them.” He told him, voice sounding annoyed but not quite there.

“I thought you were pissed at me,” Trevor said, Alucard sighed.

“I still am.”

“Oh.”

Alucard did not answer, he kept his back to Trevor until he heard the water splashing gently and then he turned to look at the man. Trevor’s face softened as he stepped into the water, a whimper of pleasure slipping from his lips as he relaxed. He sunk right into the water, but from where he was, the water stopped at his chest, leaving his shoulders and collarbone exposed. Alucard watched him, his eyes glued to that nasty scar running along his collarbone and part of his chest. It was gross, a crooked, jagged thing and frankly, he did not know what gave it to him and how. 

“It almost looks like yours, no?” Trevor asked when he realized Alucard was staring, cocking his head. Alucard snapped his head away from the scar. He grit his teeth, trying not to show it. 

“A little bit,” he laughed gently, “Yours is higher up, of course, more jagged and cruel.” He pondered, voice soft. Trevor scratched at his neck, fingers gently trailing along the scar, as if he were self-conscious.

“You wear it well.” He murmured and Trevor blinked. 

“You’re really confusing me here, you angry at me or not?” Trevor inquired, tilting his head. He blinked at him, face blank and he shook his head looking down, a sad smile playing at his lips/ 

“I… am. I just don’t know if my anger is misplaced towards you.” He admitted, he felt like his stomach was growling, he was hungry, and what a bad time for his hunger to hit. He closed his eyes, still twisting that strand of hair around his finger. He listened as Trevor moved in the water, coming closer, he shut his tight,

“Are you angry?”

“Mainly hungry,” he managed, voice heavy with strain, with Trevor’s knew wound and the scarring and scabs, he could smell his blood and it was driving him mad. He wanted it so badly, so very badly. But he could not just take it, he was not strong enough anyways, Trevor would be able to fight him off if he tried anything. He frowned.

“For blood yeah? You can have some of mine.” Trevor spoke, he assumed the man shrugged due to the shifting waters around him. His eyes snapped open once more, travelling immediately to look ar Trevor. 

“Are you _daft_?” he asked, dumbfounded, “You don’t know the stupidity of what you just said, truly. You almost _died_, you lost a whole lot of blood, and you’re willing to offer to me. A vampire that hasn’t fed in months? You’re even dumber than I thought Belmont.” He scoffed.

“I trust you.”

“You shouldn’t.” 

“Why not?” 

Alucard sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Because I’m a vampire? Because I’m not emotionally stable? Because I might snap at you or attack you or hurt you because I’m a hungry vampire that hasn’t eaten or fed on the food I truly need since you awoke me in those stupid catacombs. And if I feed off of you, I might kill you.” He snapped, before turning his back to Trevor, careful of his arm. It was slowly starting to heal, which was a good thing, but it was still being slow and it was driving him mad. 

“I’m not scared of you, I know you have control over yourself. And I’ll be there too.” Trevor murmured and it was _right_ in his ear, sending a rather aggressive shiver down his spine. One of Trevor’s hands snaked around his waist, but all it did was grab his good arm and then wrap Alucard’s wrist around his own, bringing it up.

“Are- are you sure you want me to do this?” He inquired.

“I’m sure. You need it.”

After a moment of hesitation, too busy feeling Trevor’s bare chest against his back, he brought the man’s wrist to his lips and bit down. The moment his fangs pierced the skin, he tasted blood and whined at the taste. He had not quite known just how starved he was, but Trevor’s blood was infuriatingly good. Warmth spread through him, a feeling of contentedness all over his body he shivered as he drank. After a moment, however, when Trevor’s grip on his hand tightened, he pulled away. It took too much self-control to not just bite back down but Trevor trusted him, he could not betray that.

Alucard stepped away, for fear if he didn’t he would lean into Trevor and lord knows he could not do that, not yet. He turned to look at Trevor, licking his lips to catch any blood he might have missed. Trevor watched him, his eyes were distant, glassy, pupils wide and dilated. Alucard blinked, feeling woozy and he staggered to keep himself upright. Trevor quickly caught him before he could, holding him up.

“Are you alright?” He asked, concern lacing his voice.

“M’okay. Feeding makes me sleepy when I have not fed in ages.” He slurred, leaning against the stone.

“Then you should sleep, get some rest, I’ll catch you if you fall.” He murmured.

“But-”

“Nope- no buts. Rest okay?”

Alucard muttered another protest but when he moved to rest his chin and arms on the ledge of the hot spring, sleep came from him and within moments, he let it take him away. Thinking about the way Trevor had been watching him, and the taste of his blood. Maybe his anger had been misplaced.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The slow burn tag is there for a reason guys

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you guys didn't notice, I put this into a series,, because I know I won't be able to fit all I want into this one stpry, not to mention this has taken a turn I hadn't quite expected so yeah.

Alucard woke some thirty minutes later. He blinked, leaning into whatever it was he was propped up against and he groaned softly, contentedly as he shifted. The warmth of the hot springs wrapped around him like a heated blanket and it was a challenge to keep his eyes open but eventually, he managed. 

When he woke and found he had been sleeping against Trevor he wasn’t all too surprised, not really.

He pushed himself off the Belmont with a grunt and shuffled away so there was a good amount, but not too much distance between them. He narrowed his eyes at Trevor, who was watching him.

"I didn't mean to-"

"I know," Trevor smiled. "You were out like a light, might as well let you sleep." He shrugged, crossing his arms. Sweat had long since formed on his skin, beads of sweat rolling down his forehead, his forearms and biceps. Alucard found his gaze stuck to Trevor's body for a moment too long. His eyes follow down from Trevor's collarbone and his jagged scar down his chest, across his stomach (all covered in small scars) until it reaches his hips. Alucard tears his eyes away from the man once he realizes where his gaze is travelling. Trevor only seems amused, he plants one hand on his hip, he raises one eyebrow with a knowing look. 

"Come here." He said. 

So he did. He crossed the distance between them and stopped in front of Trevor, looking down at him. He was glad for the steam rising from the hot springs which caused some colour to rise to his cheeks, if Trevor asked why he was blushing, he could lie. He frowned and cocked his head just a little. 

"Are you still angry at me?" Trevor asked gently, his voice was quiet, seeming to curl all around and suffocate him, for some reason, he didn't mind. 

"A little bit, yes." He answered with a sad smile. Trevor nodded, trying- and failing, to hide his disappointment. He picked at his nails, unsure of what to do and Alucard sighed gently. He shook his head, his hair sticking to his skin from the water and steam. Trevor reached out to brush a strand of golden hair from his face, and he let him. 

"I'm sorry." He said. 

"I know. I am too." 

Trevor blinked. "What for? You shouldn't have anything to apologize for." He murmured, confusion clouded those brilliant blue eyes. He shook his head again, looking down. 

"You opened up to me and I left. I turned away and ran even after all the indications you gave me. You- well, you showed just how you felt and I… I ran away and then I snapped at you. You were only doing what you figured was right at the time. You were doing what you were afraid you might not have the chance to do and I… I put my own damn petty anger before you and your life." He whispered. He wasn't quite sure when it had happened, but he and Trevor had fallen to sit on one of the natural 'benches' of sorts, in the hot spring. He found himself in the Belmont's lap, the shorter man's hands on his hips. 

"I was so afraid of something I hadn't felt before and I was so angry that you had the audacity to do all of that after just… leaving me. As if none of it had ever happened. I was so bothered I forgot to actually acknowledge those were probably real feelings." He added and Trevor winced. 

"I fucked up. There's no hiding that, and I know it doesn't do much, but I'm sorry. They're not excuses but I was hiding how I was feeling behind feelings for Sypha. I thought maybe I would be happy with her, for a time, maybe I was, but it's hard to love someone when your heart loves another. It was never distaste for my attraction, you get used to it when you live on the streets. It was.. fear. I had never quite felt the way I did- the way I _do_." Trevor said and Alucard's heart skipped a few beats. 

They were broken, the both of them. Cracked and shattered, fixed with gold. There was gold flowing through their veins. Beauty there hidden beneath scars and heartbreak. But it was gold nonetheless, shining in the light, but he still felt hollow. Trevor had told him he felt the same, that he truly did have feelings for him, and yet, he felt as if something was missing. There was this… hole within him that he didn't know how to fix. He stared at Trevor through half-lidded eyes, admittedly unsure of what he was supposed to do now. He wanted him, but he couldn't have him, not now. And he didn't know when. 

"Why did you leave?" He asked though Trevor had already said it, he wanted to hear it on its own. 

"I was afraid."

"You're a hypocrite." He frowned. Trevor laughed, the sound rich and raw. Something tightened in his stomach, a want forming deep within, he pushed it aside. 

"Let it be known, a scared coward is a dangerous one." He mused, moving to rest his arms on Alucard's shoulders, hands moving to grab and play with the ends of his hair. Alucard wanted to argue that Trevor wasn't a coward, that he was just unsure of how to act with new feelings, but he had done the same. Had he done that _he_ would have been the hypocrite. 

"You know," he said suddenly before Alucard could answer, "when I saw you get crushed by the creature, my heart dropped. I had never been more afraid at that moment in time. You didn't fight or do anything, you barely made a noise. Just let it crush you beneath its claw and yeah- you were running in fumes but _fuck_ I was terrified." He finished, he didn't know what to say. He blinked, swallowed and did the one thing he knew to do at that moment.

He nodded. 

"I'm- sorry." He said again, voice wavering. It's certainly not what he was expecting, but Trevor did a good job of hiding his disappointment this time around. He felt bad but as selfish as it was, he needed to put his own health and mental health before a relationship. No matter if it was Trevor. He shifted slightly and then once again realized he was _in Trevor's lap_ how in the world did they even manage that? He wasn't sure. What he was sure of, however, was that Trevor was nothing but muscle. Under him, his body tensed, muscles flexing against his skin, it had shivers running down his spine. 

"We're both disasters aren't we?" Trevor laughed, Alucard shook his head smiling softly. 

"That makes us all the more better." He smiled. He had been unsure of what to do with his hands for the better part of his conversation. Now, they rested on Trevor's chest, right index gently tracing the edge of the scar on his collarbone. 

"Hey, I'm sorry I left you all alone there, in the castle. When we first came home to the Belmont Hold, I- I'm not sure how it looked to you but I was a mess inside. Memory after memory, good and mostly bad came back to me. It couldn't have been easy and I left you there. You'd just killed your father, I knew it wouldn't be easy and I-"

Alucard presses a finger to his lips, shutting him up. He shook his head. "A mistake you won't make twice I hope." He murmured and Trevor blinked, nodding his head. 

"We all just… I suppose we were all still reeling from out victory. It hurt to be there, alone with no one to even speak about my sorrows too but the fleeting made up images of my parents, but it's alright."

"Is it really?" 

"Not the worst I've dealt with, believe or not. So don't feel too bad about it, it's alright yeah?" He asked, locking gazes with Trevor. He watched the man's pupils blow wide. 

"Yeah," Trevor said, breathless, and leaned in. 

Alucard panicked. He didn't know what else to do. He leaned back, almost falling out of Trevor's lap and he held out his hands, pressing it to his lips. He saw the way Trevor's face fell and his heart shattered, gold within be damned or not. 

"I'm sorry I can't- I'm not- too fast." he choked out. Though it must have been difficult to comprehend what he was saying, as he choked out every word, Trevor understood. He pulled away, eyes apologetic, but Alucard still removed himself for the man's lap. He pulled his arms closer around himself sinking into the water, cheeks burning in embarrassing, and he closed his eyes, murmured how he was sorry over and over until he opened his eyes once more and saw the way Trevor was watching him. 

"I'm sorry I… read the situation wrong," Trevor whispered. 

"It's not that," he blurted before he could think, but went on anyway, "I just- I'm not," he shuddered and felt like crying, he felt damn close. But he wouldn't. He refused too, he wasn't, weak "I'm not in the right place for this, I can't. Not right now. I'm so sorry." He rambled, unawares that Trevor has walked up to him. He looked down, gently taking one of his hands and Alucard frowned. 

He leaned down before Trevor could react and pressed his lips to the hunters for a brief fleeting moment and pulled away, stepping back from Trevor. "That is all I can give you as of now." He said, apologetic. Trevor nodded and he turned to get out of the hot spring, they had spent too long here, Sypha would be getting worried if they did not come back soon. 

He grabbed his clothing, have Trevor a look and then headed to a covered area to get dressed. The heat from the hot springs was unbearable now so he headed towards the river, calling to him his sword and waiting for Trevor. He watched the salmon as they weaved through the water, inevitable to one day jump into the waiting jaws of a bear, but enjoying their life all the while. He shook his head, drying out his hair and pulling it into a loose ponytail, strands of hair falling here and there in front of his face. 

Trevor took a little longer to come out, and his gaze remained on his hair a little too long. He sighed. 

"Come on. Sypha's gonna get worried." He said and without waiting, he turned to the river. From rock to rock, he hopped across the stepping stones, landing gracefully on the other end of the river. Still, he did not wait for Trevor, but the Belmont didn't seem to mind. It was almost as if he'd been expecting the cold shoulder. Alucard almost- well no, he _did_ feel bad, but he wasn't sure of how to approach all of them. He grumbled to himself. 

"Do you think you could slow down, just a little bit?" Trevor asked quietly, "I'm tripping up over my feet over here trying to keep up." He said, when Alucard looked back, the man was giving him one of those sheepish smiles. He shook his head smiling affectionately. 

"Of course, apologies." He said. He had lost count of how many times he had apologized to Trevor, but he didn't much care anymore. 

Trevor walked at his side, the fur rustling in the soft wind, his gaze slipping over to him every once in a while. In the silence, he pondered over what had just happened. That had been as much of a confession as he was going to get, so why didn't he do something more? Why _not_ kiss Trevor? In truth, he should have, he should have taken the chance, but there was more to it than that. Kissing Trevor and finding himself in a relationship wasn't going to fix his problems. His mental health was not magically going to fix itself, the threat of the forgemaster's Carmilla wasn't just going to go "poof" and disappear. Getting into a relationship was just going to give him more to worry about. 

It was true that Trevor was attractive and strong and could hold himself in a fight. It was true he was caring and loving when he wanted to be. He was friendly and loud and understanding, but he wasn't perfect. He was not going to be the solution to all his problems. He would be there for him when he needed him, yes, and he would help him. He would help take care of things, make things easier, but not fixing them altogether. For that, he was forever grateful for, but he did not Trevor to have to bear with him the burden he carried. 

The last thing he needed was having to worry about Trevor when he was already worrying about himself. 

He loved Trevor, he really did. 

He just did not want him to suffer more than he already had because of him. 

He took a risk, and looked down, reached out to grab Trevor's hand. Though he seemed caught off guard, Trevor linked their fingers together after a moment, pulling Alucard a little closer. There was so much to Trevor under that big brutish outside he had. He was just as afraid and 

"I know you must be a little disappointed this didn't completely go the way you must have expected it but-" 

"You don't have to give your apologies or anything," Trevor interrupted him, "As long as you let me help you so you don't have to do this alone. At this moment, any feeling we have for each other don't _really_ come into play." He said. His heart did a little flip and he leaned into Trevor, humming gently. 

“Thank you, for being at my side.” He said as they reached the castle. As they caught sight of Sypha, they let go of their hands, Trevor rested his hands on the back of his neck, Alucard walked with a hand on his hip, frowning. The speaker grinned at them, pulling a smile from him.

“Hello, boys!” She called to them, “Finally back? Come come. I finished clearing the debris ages ago, been waiting on you two for a while now.” 

"We didn't worry you too much did we?" He drawled as they approached her, her smile grew and yet faltered as well. He didn't like the sight of that at all, and he shared a look with Trevor, who looked just as concerned, they both raised an eyebrow at her.

"Oh no, don't worry I had good company, speaking of which," now her smile disappeared entirely, "Come now, Hector wants to say hi."


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alucard and Trevor and dumb fools

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unbetad because I'm at a hockey tournament

Alucard stalled, Trevor stopped altogether.

“Excuse me?” 

Sypha did not look very surprised at their shock. She sighed, shaking her head gently and motioned them with a jerk of her chin and frowned. She turned before they could say anything else and they scrambled to catch up to her before she disappeared behind one of the columns of the castle.

He trailed behind Trevor, who seemed a lot more interested in this whole thing than he was, though that was a lie, of course. He was still in shock, not really having processed what Sypha had said. His frown deepened as he pulled at the edges of his gloves, unsure. He stalled. He would have liked to have a moment to process everything that had happened with him and Trevor, but now Hector was here. Hector. His father's forgemaster. He was here. He couldn’t believe that.

But as he turned the corner he saw him, sitting there on the steps of the entrance, now under Trevor’s cloak, was the forgemaster himself. 

The first thought that crossed his mind was that he didn’t like the sight of Hector wearing Trevor’s cloak. The second was that that should be the least of his worries and he really shouldn’t be that annoyed over something petty like that. The third was that ‘this could not be good.’

Clearly he had failed to mask his anger and shock if the looks the three of them were giving him were any indication. 

He cleared his throat and cocked his head. 

As a child, the forgemasters hadn't been around. He had seen and sometimes even interacted with his father's general's, but Isaac and Hector has been _mostly_ absent. His father had only recruited them after his mother's death, he'd seen them both a few times, though he could not remember their faces clearly. Hector had been nicer to him, offering him smiles and waves. He looked relatively the same, but also worse. He almost looked to be in the same state as Alucard was in.

His gray hair was matted and messy, eyes sunken and deep, dull and distant. His cheeks were hollow, like he hadn't eaten in a long time. And though he wore the cloak, and it wasn't all that cold, he was shivering like he'd been dunked into a frozen river. Alucard found it in him to pity the man. 

"What is he doing here?" He asked with an unblinking stare, voice firm and... unapproving almost. 

Hector, the poor thing, looked quite afraid. 

"It's ah uh- long story?"

"We've got time to spare." 

"Um- not really?" Sypha cut in. They both looked to her and she, to her credit, she didn't back down or cower a little. She crossed her arms and looked at all of them, first Trevor, then Hector, than him, "If what Hector is saying, we should be getting ready for another attack. It wasn't Carmilla that sent the first hoard, that was a pure coincidence. But she knows we're still reeling and recovering from it, now would be the best time to hit." 

"It's only been two months, she couldn't have given us a rest?" Trevor muttered crossing his arms. He looked more annoyed than he did concerned. 

"She knows that Trevor was injured and that Alucard isn't at his full strength. Though I can't say, she uh- kinda kept me away from knowing much." Hector spoke up. 

Alucard frowned. He was feeling much better after having fed. His arm had healed so movement in it brought no pain or anything of the likes. But Hector spoke true. How Carmilla knew of the attack, he didn't have the slightest clue. He frowned, hands on his hips, tapping his fingers and eventually, he sighed. Whether he wanted him here or not, he was now a guest at his home, which meant he might as well act like a proper host.

"Right, well, come now, let's get you inside. We'll get you some food, a change of clothing and a room if you wish. You look like you're going to freeze to death." He said holding out a hand for the man. Hesitantly, shock written all over his face, Hector grabbed his hand, letting Alucard pull him to his feet.

He lead the man into the castle, Hector at his heels, Trevor and Sypha following behind, speaking in hushed whispers. Up the stairs, they went to the hallway in which Trevor and Sypha had their rooms. He sighed gently showing him one of the rooms across from the kitchen, large and comfortable, nice and warm in the room. He patted the man's back and hummed. 

"Get some rest," he said with a forced smile, "You need it. I'll get you some fresh clothing to wear while we figure out what to do with your old clothes. If you ever grow hungry, the kitchen is just across from your room. Shout if you need anything, we'll hear." He said, he looked over Hector, eyes straying to the cloak on his shoulders and he frowned, the man seemed to notice this and turned to Trevor who stood behind them. 

"Your cloak?" He cocked his head. 

Trevor shrugged. "Keep it for as long as you need it." He said and Alucard had to bite back a flinch, he wasn't quite such if he managed to hide the shock and displeasure on his face. He nodded, then shook his head and nodded once more. 

"Alright, I'll get back to you soon, rest, sleep, take a bath, do whatever it is you please, welcome to my humble abode." He mused a little dryly and then spun on his heels leaving the room. He could feel Trevor eyes on his back, but he paid it no mind as he quickly left the hallway to go down to the room where he had gotten the clothing for Trevor and Sypha. He hated how petty and jealous he felt, they weren't a thing, he and Trevor. He had made sure of that _himself_ so he had no right to be angry if Trevor was being a decent person to Hector. Why did it matter who Trevor cared for anyways? They had more important things to worry about. As he grabbed the clothing, he snatched a map of the area (the castle had maps of every area when it teleported to, for convenience sake) and trudged back to the kitchen. 

Trevor wasn't there, Sypha was. He ignored her, and she him. He tucked the map under his arm and gently slipped the spare clothing into Hector's room, trying his best to be quiet. He returned to the kitchen before unrolling the map across the table, frowning at the landscape he saw before him. It would have been easier if he had known the land beforehand, but it's not like any of them were expecting Sypha to land and break the Castle right next to, and above, the Belmont hold. It was surrounded by forest, caverns and caves even. The most annoying type of landscape. The most tedious type. Tons of places to hide and slip away. Tons of areas to lose sight of your enemy. He narrowed his eyes at the man, looking up at the speaker. 

"Do you-" he paused, frowning. "Do you have a pencil?" He asked her, she looked up at him, and shook her head. He sighed, resting his forehead on the table before he turned to the counter, digging through the cabinets until he found a charcoal. 

"What is it that you're doing?" Sypha chirped up as he rested his chin on the table, eyeing one of the elevation levels on the map. 

"If there is an attack coming, like Hector says, we need to plan the best way to fight off the hoards. I am trying to get a look of the lands before anything happens. Try to get the best plan of attack." He said, repeating himself slightly at the end. 

"Ah," Sypha nodded. "Do you know the ways Carmilla might attack?" She asked. 

"If Carmilla were to attack, she might want to hit us from the back, where we're not going to expect it. But surely she also knows that _we_ might know that. She needs to weigh her options, her best way to take us out. It's possible she may try to flank us, but locking us in the castle will put all of us at a disadvantage. She knows this place, but I know it more. Hector knows the castle, somewhat, but you and Trevor have no clue how to navigate this place." He frowned. 

Tapping the charcoal on the map, he moved to then trace a small barrier in the charcoal by the entrance of the forest. Then he dragged the charcoal to the sides of where the castle stood, and frowned. He tapped the tip of the charcoal on the map with a frustrated sigh. 

"Need help?" a cool voice purred. Alucard looked up, blinking. He bit back his shock seeing Hector and he narrowed his eyes for only a moment. 

While Sypha had changed back into her speakers robes, since they had been cleaned, Hector wore the spare clothing. Just like Trevor's, the pants were black, but tighter and the shirt was a white poets shirt, but they fit right. He looked good in that clothing. He blinked. 

"Right yes, that would be appreciated. What are you thinking of the spare clothing? Not too bad I hope." He cocked his head, asking question after question, though still leaning above the table. Hector laughed gently, shifting his weight onto one leg, planting his hands on his hips. 

"They fit fine, thank you." He mused as Alucard moved over a little bit so that Hector could get a look at the map. Their arms bumped together, brushing against one another and though Alucard didn't pay it much mind, the touch was there. Constantly pulling him away into his thoughts. 

"Shall I get you anything while you look over the map?" Alucard asked pulling away, Hector looked at him, a small smile playing at his lips, tugging up a little. Alucard blinked. 

"Well, if you're offering." Hector's smile grew and Alucard turned on his heels. 

He came back with some crackers, cheese and wine for them (Sypha included) and he sighed as he placed it down, he stepped around Hector then looked over his shoulder, seeing as he was taller. His chest was slightly pressed against Hector's back and side, his head by Hector's shoulder and ear. 

"Right," Hector started, "There are four of us now, and it's risky yes, but if we split up, we can cover every angle she can come at us from." The man said, voice firm as he dragged his finger along the lines he had traced along the map. He said nothing, prompting Hector to continue.

"For lack of repeating myself, it's risky. There is one other plan, however, but it's possibly even more risky." Hector frowned and he shook his head. 

"Go on then," Alucard said, his voice was in Hector's ear, and Alucard didn't miss the shiver that raked down Hector's body. 

"Other than splitting up, we can, the four of us group together to protect _one_ area. The front, the back or one of the sides. It can be a little riskier if we're going to focus all of our power on this one spot and we guess wrong, this leaves the rest of the area weak and exposed." 

"Then what are we t-" 

"We should split in groups of two, patrol half of the castle and Belmont Hold outskirts." Someone interrupted, Alucard's head snapped up, eyes locking with Trevor's. He had changed back into his Belmont clothing, and he did _not_ look happy. Alucard realised that he was still somewhat pressed up against Hector. Embarrassment crept up as he stepped away, both Hector and Trevor's eyes on him. 

"Right." He said, voice coming out hoarse. 

"We can set up traps around the border of the forest. If a creature gets caught you can get your ass it's going to start howling like a Banshee. That way we'll know where they're coming from." Hector suggested, Sypha nodded, grabbing some food from the plate he had brought, Trevor looked convinced but still hesitant. 

"What is Carmilla has troops coming from every direction?" he asked. Hector smiled, as if he'd been expecting that, "She'd have us overpowered like it was nothing." 

"She's stretched too far thin. She has almost all her guards around where she's staying, without Isaac, who would never ever work for her, by the way, she can't create any more creatures. The ones she has are loyal to me. She'd have to lure other creatures to us, but she doesn't have the numbers to come at us from all angles." He said standing straight and crossing his arms though it didn't quite five the desired effect since Trevor was taller than him. 

"Well, the plans all set then?" He asked grabbing some cheese and crackers from the plate, Sypha shook her head. 

"How are we to split up in pairs of two?" She asked.

"I'll go with Hector." Alucard spoke up, Trevor tensed, eyebrows furrowing, eyes narrowing at him, he crossed his arms, ready to argue. 

"What?" 

"I'll go with Hector," he repeated firmly, narrowing his eyes back at Trevor, who didn't look too happy, "Unless _he_ would like to go with someone else." He answered, voice cool. He didn't take his eyes off Trevor though. From the corner of his eye he saw Hector shake his head. 

"I don't mean to sound rude, Trevor but I'm not really one to fight, it would be good to have someone who can." Hector said, his voice sound tiny. 

"Alucard's still injured." Trevor crossed his arms.

"Am I not. And even if I were who are you to tell me if I can or can't fight." He snapped standing straight, Trevor tensed but he just stared down Alucard. He wasn't necessarily angry, not really, just annoyed Trevor was trying to choose for him. 

"You're nursing a broken arm, even if you healed it yourself we've seen you Alucard. You kill one monster and suddenly you're supporting yourself on your sword, you can be with someone who won't be able to protect you." Trevor said. 

"I'll kill you and use your _body_ as support." He snapped, voice ringing out in the kitchen as the three of them stared at him in shocked, muted silence. 

"If you're _so_ adamant about me being with someone who can defend me, I'll go with Sypha. Now if you'll excuse me." He hissed and then stepped away from the table, stepping stone Hector and stalking past Trevor, knowing the man would follow him. 

And follow him he did. 

Trevor's steps were hurried and heavy as he ran after him to keep up. Maybe it was childish to storm out, maybe it had been childish to snap, but _come on_. Just because he sometimes acted like one didn't mean he _was_ a child. He knew Trevor was just trying to look out for him, but this- was not the way to do it. Trevor called his name and though Alucard did acknowledge him with a sidelong glance he didn't answer him or give him his attention. It was when he grabbed his shoulder and spun him around that Alucard gave him attention, though forced. 

"No sign language this time, Belmont?" He sneered. 

"You have your voice back, you use it, why bother. You don't have to be so petty over everything." Trevor answered, Alucard could see Trevor was trying to keep his frustration in check. He reached out, taking one of Alucard's hands and wrapping it in his own, sighing. 

"I'm not the petty one, Belmont. You're the one who got all stuffy when I said I would go with Hector, you're not… jealous are you?" He asked, raising an eyebrow. 

"Jealous of him? He may be able to create monster loyal to his every word but I can fight myself thank you very much." He said with a scoff, proving Alucard's point. He _was_ jealous. 

"I can take care of myself Trevor." He said after a moment. Trevor's face softened, he looked down and Alucard placed his other hand upon Trevor's, shaking his head gently. Trevor sighed, breath sending a shiver down his spine, one he masked much better than Hector had. Without his cloak, Trevor looked a lot smaller. Yes, he was a big man, only a fool wouldn't see that but while he had broad shoulders and a tall, athletic build, the cloak gave him more volume. The fur made him look a lot bigger than he actually was. 

"I'm just- I care about you, I want you to be safe, Alucard." Trevor murmured and his heart did a flip. He closed his eyes a moment. 

"I know. With you hear I am. You have to trust me, I can take care of myself." He whispered. 

"Will you stay safe?" Trevor asked and Alucard couldn't help but laugh. He shook his head once more and pulled their hands to his lips to press a kiss to Trevor's knuckles. Trevor let him, didn't pull away, didn't even look bothered. Alucard's antics were well known to him now. He didn't question them. 

"As safe as I can be when dealing with Carmilla." He mused. 

"That's all that matters," Trevor smiled, "Now, let's go kill some monsters."


	9. Chapter 9

While Trevor had been less than pleased to leave Alucard, they had a job to do and Alucard had already allied himself with Sypha. She looked at him in the edge of her gaze. Though she tried she failed to hide the looks she was constantly giving him. He'd been good so hiding his discomfort at it for a while but as he and Sypha reached the right side of the first surrounding the castle, he broke. 

"Can you _please_ tell me what's on your mind, all those stolen glances are driving me mad." He said after a moment, Sypha, surprised at being caught gave him a gentle smile and shook her head.

"You and Trevor-" she started. 

"Do _not_," he started shaking his head as he pulled material from the satchel they'd brought with them. The bag hit the ground with a '_thump_' and he bared his teeth at the ground, "Go there, it doesn't matter what Trevor and I have, we don't have anything." He frowned and tossed some of what they needed for traps. 

"I wasn't saying anything about that," Sypha whispered gently, "I'm only worried about the two of you. This is dangerous work, this is a dangerous life. I know you care for him. If there is anything there you know I only worry about your health." Sypha said, her voice was louder now, but still incredibly soft. 

"There's nothing between us, I made sure of that myself. My own health is more important and I can't- I don't _want_ to worry over his life when all I really need to be worrying about my own." He said crossing his arms for a moment looking around. Sypha laughed gently. 

"Are you afraid of what might come with having something between you two?"

He paused for a moment before, "Yes." 

Sypha nodded as they finished the first 'trap' and he closed his eyes. 

"I don't want to admit it. If I admit it there's anything there. If I admit that there are feelings between the two of us, then there really _are_ feelings there. If I admit it, it means it's real. It means it's actually there and _real_ and I can't run from something like that forever." He whispered, opening his eyes as he moved to put down the next trap, hands shaking ever so slightly.

"You're right. You can't run from everything forever, it'll tire you out one day. You'll have to face everything you've been running from one day." She said. 

He hung his head. Defeated. "I know."

Sypha put her hand on his arm and he paused, looking down at her, shocked to see her face was soft and understanding. What did she know of love? Did she know anything? She was a speaker. He didn't know what she knew, but he figured it didn't matter. He looked at her with confusion, narrowing his eyes for a moment before he sighed. He moved to cover her hand with his other hand, fingers softly, gently curling around hers and pulling her hand away but not letting go of her hand. Around him, everything seemed to still for a moment and he sighed gently, frowning as he looked around. Sometimes it was good that Sypha knew him so well, sometimes, it wasn't. 

"So you're in love, that's not something bad, right?" 

"It-" 

Screaming cut him off. He flinched back, reeling away from Sypha. They turned, looking towards where the scream rang out. Another scream- louder this time, higher-pitched and they shared a look before breaking into a run to where it was coming from. Alucard, much faster than Sypha, reached them first. Hector was on the ground, on his ass with his hands in front of his face, a small gash on his arm. Trevor stood before him, whip in hand, the chain curled around the neck of a monster thrashing and howling. 

"Kill it before it's screaming calls others!" Trevor snarled and Alucard threw his hand out. The sword cut clean through the black fur of the creature's neck, blood spraying out with a disgusting noise that he could not place. The creature fell to the ground with a cloud of dust and Trevor stepped back panting to pull Hector to his feet. Quickly they fell into a defensive stance, on edge and nervous.

"Stay alert," Alucard started, "If you hear anything alert the others, stay together. Make sure you have a good view of the tree line, they could be hiding where we can't see them at first glance. And just- be careful." He snapped. 

Trevor slinked up to his side, Sypha slipping to Hector's. As Sypha and Hector strayed a little ways away, (but not too far), Trevor turned to face him and Alucard's heart sunk. He had a bad feeling he couldn't place and it worried him. Trevor looked on edge, eyes darting around the clearing but eventually, his gaze settled back on Alucard. His timing perhaps wasn't the best, but he took this moment to speak. 

"Trevor I-" he paused, taking a breath and nodding once. He wanted to drop it, but he'd already started this and he wouldn't back down. '_So you're in love, that's not something bad, right?_'. He figured words wouldn't get across this feeling deep in his gut, so he looked at Trevor, grabbed his chin and kissed him. 

It wasn't an ideal kiss, by any means. It was clumsy. Trevor clearly caught off guard and it wasn't long (just long enough for Trevor to be able to kiss back) but it was a kiss. One they both fell into too quickly, too hungrily. They'd both been longing for this, ever since that first drunk kiss, to that second one where Trevor could have died, to now. It was what they'd wanted for so long now. After so much pinning and longing. But it wasn't everything, and there was a chance they wouldn't get what they wanted. 

"If anything happens to me, you must know that I love you. Truly, I do." He murmured as he pulled away, cupping Trevor's cheek. There was more he could say, there was more he _should_ say, but he stayed quiet after that. 

It was Trevor who kissed him once more, hands at his jaw and cheek, holding him there. Neither of them cared if Sypha or Hector saw, it wasn't like they cared. Alucard closed his eyes, letting Trevor pull him closer, but this wasn't a long kiss either, it was short, bittersweet. 

"I know," the man said when he pulled away, "I love you too. But nothing is going to happen to you so don't you say that. I'm not losing you. Not now. Or ever." Trevor finished firmly, though his voice wavered. Alucard stepped away, nodding gently, though his hand lingered on Trevor's cheek. He called his sword to him, the wind ruffling his still-damp hair and relished at the weight in his hands, it felt nice. 

They stood back to back, eyes scanning the edge of the forest. He could see Sypha and Hector in the corner of his eye, and he could see they were tense as well, though Sypha looked at them like she knew something more. Her attention turned back to the trees as a noise caught their attention and Trevor's stance lowered a little, he was on edge, caught off guard and tense, shoulders up, grip tight. Alucard hissed as he looked around, taking a few steps around. He could hear rustling around them, all around them, he could see flashes of red and black and blue. He knew the monsters were there now, knew if Carmilla was here, she knew where they were. 

"_Foolish, petulant little specks._" One of the creatures hissed as suddenly, a pair of bright red eyes lit up in the dark of the forest. It poked its head through the line of trees, one long claw slipping out, claws at the end of it's paw, long and sharp, dug into the ground. It bore horns like a ram, curling around its head like a helmet, smaller horns curled out the back of it's head like a dragon. He didn't like this. 

"_Mistress gave you a chance to back down. Then her little slave ran away,_" it hissed, baring its teeth, red drool pooling down onto the ground, sizzling the grass, Hector bristled, narrowing his eyes, "_You allied yourself with him, you will die with him then_." It snarled and then pounced. It landed between their two groups, turned to Trevor and Alucard and jumped once more. His sword went clean through its arm and though it screeched, it kept coming towards them. Trevor jumped back, Alucard rolled the side, avoiding the jump and the acid drool that came from its mouth. 

"Be careful! Don't let that acid touch you!" He snapped, looking towards Hector. He and Sypha were fighting monsters that had come from the forest as well, they seemed to be faring well. 

"Keep your eyes up, fangs!" Trevor yelled and Alucard's head snapped up and he just barely managed to dodge the smash of the monster's paw. It cracked the ground where he'd stood and now he gave Trevor a small thankful nod, blinking once. He turned his eyes back to the monster, hissing back at the creature. Its red eyes bore into them and he narrowed his eyes. As he fought with the creature, a dance of power, he found it odd the monster had called Carmilla mistress. That shouldn’t have been possible for her, but if she was that much stronger than before he worried about that.

Something knocked into him, sending him sprawling sideways onto the ground with a sickening ‘_crack_ and yet he barely made a noise as he collided with the ground and pushed himself up. Pain bloomed in his side but he didn’t acknowledge it. He hadn’t registered Trevor being at his side until the man pulled him to his feet with a grunt, one arm snaked around his waist to steady him but Alucard pushed him away.

"Worry about your own life, Belmont." He hissed, spinning and clashing with the creature, the blunt of his sword pressed against its snout. They locked eyes and he narrowed his own, sure they were red. He jumped back as the monster opened its jaws, acid drool threatening to eat through his skin, he scowled. He hadn’t the slightest clue as to how a creature like this could have acid drool but it didn’t matter. Just another challenge he would have to face. Even not at his full strength, this wouldn’t be an issue. 

Then another monster came forth, pulling his attention away from the one with the acid. This one was shorter but moved faster, quick enough to have him on edge. It was quick enough to keep up with him and Alucard found himself with several small cuts on his face and arms, cutting through his coat and into his skin. It stung long after he got the wounds and he only hoped that they were not infected or poisoned. Though he was starting to feel a little tired with moving around so much he still felt energized. Maybe it was because it was Trevor in general, or if it was because he'd fed from a Belmont, but his blood was singing. Pulsing within him, bringing a stupid smile to his face as he danced around the monster. He held out his hand, sword leaving his grip to embed itself better the monster's eyes. It fell mid-jump but Alucard paid it no mind as he moved to the other smaller monsters that had arrived, blocking him from the biggest one with the acid. 

He hissed, moving forwards. This was a dance. That's all this was, a dangerous, deadly, possibly life-ending dance but a dance nonetheless. It wouldn't be the first time he was in a life-threatening fight. And it certainly wouldn't be his last. He cut down monster after monster, sparing Trevor a glance once to make sure he was still holding up alright and a few glances towards Sypha and Hector. Sypha was holding her own, Hector hiding behind her but doing good with a small short sword. He didn't know where he got that from and he didn't want to know. It didn't matter. As long as they were all alright for the time being. 

His concern for the others cost him a few more hits. A long cut one across his cheek and part of his nose, it wouldn't leave a scar but it was bleeding and he was losing blood. A few smaller ones on his legs as well. But there were fewer and fewer monsters now. He'd cut down most of them in his area. The others were doing their job, and finally, he was facing his foe once more. 

"_You have made it far, little wretch. It is a shame you will not live to see the Mistress succeed. I will use your corpse as a banner when we win_." It taunted, Alucard raised an eyebrow. It didn't matter how Carmilla had gotten these monsters under her control. All that mattered was that he kills them all. 

"Tell your mistress she can go fuck off." He answered with a smile and that was that. They started their dance once more. Fighting with vigour and anger. Alucard was still jumpy, filling to the brim with energy, overflowing with want to fight. His muscles ached, his skin itched where blood was drying, but he didn't acknowledge it. He jumped circles around the acid monster, hitting it before it could fight back. His eyes were wide, mad and it took a moment for him to register the laughter he heard was his own. He was laughing. Mocking the monster as it roared in fury, slowly and steadily bleeding out from all the cuts he'd left him. 

He hadn't known that his laughter, his overconfidence would be a downfall. He slammed into the body of another monster he hadn't seen and stumbled backwards. He fell onto his ass, gasping as he hit the ground hard. He hissed as he sat up, rubbing his tail bone, snarling at the pain that it brought him. Then he heard the growling, it was low, picking up in pitch. Then came the shadow and Alucard looked up to see the monster looming above him, readying its jump. He scrambled back to his feet as the monster launched itself at him, and he threw out his hand in a last-ditch effort. His sword came a moment later, piercing the monster's heart with startling accuracy. He let his guard down for just a moment and it cost him. 

The end of the monster's tail, a long thing with spikes on the underside of the very tip curled around the hilt of his sword as it passed through the monster and with one final drying screech, it hurled the sword back towards him. Eyes wide with fear, Alucard willed the sword to stop. 

It didn't. 

Someone screamed but he couldn't place who as his own sword embedded itself into his stomach, all the way to the hilt. He doubled over in pain, hands clutching his blade and he tugged back a little but pain- red hot _pain_ shot through him and he stopped. He gagged, blood spraying from his mouth as he faltered. His hands tightened on the blade, cutting into his skin but he didn't stop it. 

He dropped to one knee, shaking, blood dripping from his mouth and with a whimper. By the time he was on two knees someone - Trevor. It had to be - was at his side. Panic flared in him when Trevor grabbed the hilt if the blade. He gasped, saying something, a plea to leave the sword in him, he would lose less blood this way and hung he head. Through the pain, he felt someone grab his cheeks and make him look up, he squinted his vision going black for a moment and sagged forwards into Trevor's grip. Trevor’s arms came up around him to steady him. He felt Trevor pull him up a little but the movement made pain shoot through him 

Trevor was saying something, he only caught clips of it. "..hold on…" "...don't do this, baby." "... please.." and with every plea, Alucard felt his heart sink. He didn't want to cause Trevor any pain but _fuck_ his own was unbearable. He felt like he was dying, god, he _was_ dying. He blinked, gripping Trevor tight, forcing his eyes to stay open. It wasn't fair to Trevor. It wasn't fair for him. He couldn't do that to either of them. He couldn't die. He couldn't-

"Trevor," he whimpered straining his head to look up. He met the man's gaze, eyes stinging when he saw the tears welling in the Belmont's. He reached up, smearing his own blood on Trevor's cheek and he shuddered violently, turning his head to cough up more blood, gagging and gripping his throat, "I'm... really s-sorry, love." It hurt to speak but he was so certain he wouldn’t survive this, there was no way. He was strong enough for that. 

"Stop that- don't say anything." Trevor pleaded, voice wavering. Alucard wiped a tear from his lash line. He was trying, trying so hard to not close his eyes. 

"N- no. You need to know. I'm sorry. I love you." He whispered. Trevor shook his head. 

"I know, I know, baby. I love you too, don't speak anymore, you need your energy. Don't waste it speaking." Trevor whispered, voice dangerously close to breaking, tears threatening to spill. Alucard hated the look of that on Trevor. He was supposed to be laughing, being loud and lovable but annoying. Not this. 

"I can't lose another loved one, baby. _Please_." He begged. 

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry." He whispered, each repeat getting quieter and quieter until he could barely hear himself. He let out a small breath and found his eyes failing him. He blinked at Trevor, cupped his cheek with what strength remained and closed his eyes. 

Trevor's pleading was the last thing he heard before he fell to his exhaustion.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Friday the thirteenth is a great day to post a new chapter  
pov change fun times ikr

Alucard was dying. He was _dying_.

Trevor cradled the man in his arms, not bothering to hide his tears and he held him gently. He murmured pleas into his ear as he rocked him, begging for forgiveness before he grabbed the hilt of the sword and _pulled_. 

He didn't know if the fact that Alucard _hadn't_ screamed was worse than an actual scream. But even as Trevor fumbled to get his cloak wrapped around Alucard's middle to stop the blood flow, the man didn't react. His brows didn't crease, his jaw didn't tense, he didn't do _anything_ and Trevor was terrified. Horrified. If there was indeed a god, Trevor prayed that Alucard would be okay. At least let him be alright. 

"Trevor, we need to get him inside," Sypha said gently, though she was panting as she placed a hand on his shoulder. Trevor didn't move. Just held Alucard's limp body, going still himself. 

He wasn't sure how long he had tuned out Sypha but when he came out of his frozen state, she was not happy. 

"_Trevor Belmont,_" she hissed, and when he looked up, she didn't look happy either. Her fury had her cheeks flush and bright red, if he didn't know any better he assumed fire would spring from her fingers. He blinked, "Do you _want_ Alucard to die?" She seethed. 

"No."

"We need to get him inside,” Hector said, hiding behind Sypha. The speaker's face softened, "He'll die unless he gets medical attention soon." 

Trevor said nothing, but he stood up. He kept Alucard in his arms, hating how heavy, but how light he felt at the same time. He checked around the clearing, corpses. So many corpses, and yet, he felt no joy. How could he? When the man (_dhampir_, but it didn't matter) he loved was dying in his arms? There was no grim satisfaction at seeing the bodies of the creatures responsible dead. There was nothing but emptiness in him, sorrow and worry. He had never been good with emotions, much less love. And when finally there was someone who loved him back, he was losing him when there was finally something between the two of them. Not a few kisses they wouldn't acknowledge. To finally get that and then have it ripped away was awful. It _hurt_.

Sypha opened the massive oak doors for him and he slipped in. He turned to Hector. 

"Is there an… infirmary or something of sorts here? You know this place better than us." He said and though he didn't show it, the hollowness of his voice caught him off guard. Hector gave him a sympathetic look. 

"Follow me." He said and turned towards the stairs. 

He let Hector lead him up a few flights of stairs and even though his body ached, each muscle screamed, begged him to stop, he kept going. If only because he wanted Alucard to be alright. Up, up they went and Trevor was starting to worry until finally Hector stopped before a door and opened it for Trevor. Inside was everything you could need to help someone. Anything a nurse or medic could need to fix up someone's wounds. Gently, he put down the unconscious dhampir in his arms down on the table in the center of the room, looking down at his hands. Unsurprisingly, they were caked with blood. He grimaced. 

"He won't be dying, not on my watch, Trevor. I promise." Hector reassured him. He looked up and smiled at the forgemaster but he wasn't sure if it looked genuine or not. 

"And I know you might not like me for saying this, but I think it would be better if you stayed outside the room while I work on him," he started, Trevor blinked, "I know you're worried, but having someone buzz around me while I work will only help make me nervous." He finished. 

"It's alright. I get it. I wouldn't be much help not really, I've never been good at healing anyways. I'll be- well, somewhere." He murmured, his voice didn't sound like his own. It seemed… distant, foreign to him. He didn't like it. Not one bit. 

"Trevor," Hector said as he reached the door, he looked over his shoulder at the man, raising one brow, "He'll be okay."

"Yeah. He will be." He parroted even though he didn't sound very convinced. He left with a sigh, turning to face Sypha who stood in the hall. She looked up at him and he frowned. 

"I don't need your pity Sypha." He muttered before she had even opened her mouth. 

She scoffed. "I wasn't going to offer you any. You're a big man. I know you can get through this. I just wanted to ask you something." She said. Trevor tensed. He didn't like the sound of _that_. That never really ended well. It wasn't like he could just run away. Though he was afraid, he looked Sypha in the eye, wrapping his arms around himself. He'd left his cloak with Alucard. 

"Shoot." 

"When I was speaking with Alucard before the attack," she started and he hated where this was going to go but said nothing, "I asked him if he'd been afraid to admit there being something between the two of you." 

Trevor's mouth was suddenly very dry. "What did he say?" 

"He was. He was afraid that if he admitted it and if he acknowledges there was something between the two of you that it would be real and that he wouldn't be able to run from that forever." She said. It wasn't helping him feel better, not by any means, but as much as he and Alucard would act like children, Sypha oftentimes spoke only when she needed to in situations like these. When someone needed to know the truth, even if it was harsh and it hurt. Sometimes you needed that instead of sweet lies. He took a breath.

"Why are you telling me this?" He whispered, if he spoke any louder he feared his voice night betray him and break and he would start crying. 

"Because," her face grew serious, "if you hurt him or break his heart, I won't hesitate to rip yours from your body. This is new to him Trevor Belmont, don't ruin it for him." 

“What was your question?” He asked hoarsely. She frowned. 

“Do you love him.” 

“More than you could possibly imagine.” He murmured. It felt odd really, such soft words coming from a man like him. 

“Then that’s all I need to know,” she said. “Be careful with this, Trevor.” She finished with a smile. Before he could think to answer her, she gave him one last warning smile, turned on her heels and disappeared. He stood there, shocked at Sypha and yet impressed. But also a little insulted. She couldn't _possibly_ think that he would do anything to Alucard out of malicious intent to ruin this for him- for the both of them. 

Goodness, what had he done to deserve Sypha? 

He wandered through the halls of the castle for a while, wanting to get his mind off of things by exploring, but in the silence it only let his kind wander more. Wander back to the moment everything went to shit. The terror that had shot through him when Alucard's sword hadn't stopped. The moment his heart had seemed to stop as he watched the sword go clean through Alucard's stomach.

Trevor had experienced fear throughout his entire life, from a young child seeing his family burn within the Belmont Hold, to having to learn how to survive in the streets of all the many cities in Wallachia. He had feared a lot and had been afraid of a lot of things in his life. 

He had never been more afraid at the moment Alucard's sword went clean through him though. 

Lady luck, God, whatever there was that held a higher power, if they existed, hated him it would seem. Trevor's luck, if he was being honest, had never been the best. So maybe it was bad luck his love was dying but maybe it was good luck he'd survived. 

So far. Who knew.

Trevor shook his head. Thinking of the worst had always been something he had always been good at. He knew, however, that overthinking and thinking of the worst situations was only going to make him worry more so he shook those thoughts away and kept walking the halls of the castle. His meandering had taken him to a wing of the castle which is the main part seemed to be this beautiful balcony and patio. He didn't understand the need for something like that in Dracula's castle but maybe the castle was changing to their wills. Maybe now that it had new inhabitants it was changing to fit their liking and not those of a mad tyrant, hell-bent on destroying the world because it had killed his wife. 

With a sigh, Trevor settled himself on the comfortable purple couch of the patio. Cream coloured gossamer curtains swung gently in the breeze that had picked up and even if inside Trevor felt like a proper disaster, he felt comfortable on the couch. 

"A little rest won't kill me." He murmured to himself. As he watched the sunset, a few mourning doves flew by. Trevor smiled sadly and let himself fall asleep, the gentle sounds of nature his only companion.

______

Alucard came to him in his dreams that evening. 

It started as every nightmare would. Everything had been perfect, content and calm. Though Trevor was no fool; living on the streets had taught him to always be wary of calm. Most of the time when all had been calm, it meant that something was wrong. That something was up. He knew it wouldn't last but he had still hoped, hoping that maybe this wasn't going to go to shit. 

It started innocently. He had found himself in a field, a small little clearing surrounded by trees, white weeping willows. Their branches swaying in the wind. Trevor had known, no matter how peaceful this was, something was going to go awry. 

Then it came, like a crack of lightning hitting him full force. With a _boom!_ the trees around him exploded in flames, the never-ending crackling of the trees on fire filling his ears. He fell to his knees, hands on his ears, eyes screwed tight, screaming, pleading for the burning to stop. He could see it, clear as day, the Belmont hold burning within his mind as the fire burned, the smoke curling around him in some fucked up form of embrace. But he could still hear that _infernal_ crackling. He just wanted it to stop. Stop, stop stop. _Please STOP_. 

And it did. The heat didn’t leave. No, not it never would, but it was better than the crackling that grew louder and louder as the fire grew. But the noise stopped. Trevor hated being hot, with all his being. He had worn heavy clothing all his life yes, but the streets weren’t warm, even in the summer it had been stupid cold during the days, worse at night. The heat seeped through his clothing, driving him mad, he felt like he was burning from the inside out. Like an itch you couldn’t get rid of, or a pain you couldn’t stop. He felt hopeless, he was burning. Burning, burning. _Burning_.

Then, he went deadly cold. Not just the kind of cold where you step out of a building and the cold hits you full force, but also the kind of cold that overtakes you when you learn of something that breaks you deep inside. The kind of cold that you feel when someone you cared for yells at you. Alucard picked then to show up. He looked like a phantom, hair blowing in the breeze, his pale sin reflecting the light of the fire, and he just _stood_ there, not doing anything. He just let the fire curl around him. Just let the fire eat away at him, mindless of Trevor unable to reach him. Then Alucard fell to his knees screaming and- 

He woke up.

Though he was not screaming, he woke in a cold sweat. It was dark now, the moon shining proudly above him, the stars shining ever so slightly. There was a calm breeze and in the distance he could hear crickets chirping away from where they were. Very quickly, Trevor relaxed, he was safe, there was no fire, there was no screaming. But Alucard was still dying. He was still close to being gone, and that couldn’t happen. It just couldn’t.

He pushed himself up and stretched, yawning. It was dark outside but he couldn't find sleep and he headed back into the castle. His steps echoed in the halls, torches lit sparked to life as he passed them and he had a sinking feeling the eyes in the portraits followed him as he walked. He didn’t quite care. All he meant to do was get back to the main hall, find Sypha or Trevor and then go see Alucard. It took him too long to find his way back to the main hall, but once he did, he found Sypha and Hector on the ground, a map rolled out in between them.

Trevor had barely reached the top of the stairs when Sypha noticed him, she beckoned him over with a wave of her hand. With a huff, he descended the stairs and sat between the two of them, looking at the map with some disinterest. As Hector spoke about the damages and the injuries that had occurred due to the attack. The only serious casualty was Alucard, but Hector had told him that he would survive, though he might stay unconscious for a little while longer. 

“You’ll want to see him, I’m guessing,” Sypha said after they rolled up the map. Trevor had spoken up a lot as they’d been conferring over the map if anything to distract him from the pit in his stomach. His heart thumped in his chest no matter what it was he did, so he was incredibly grateful, yet afraid when Sypha came up to him with her offer. 

She lead them to the infirmary and waited outside the room as he went inside. Adrian had never looked worse and it hurt Trevor. His skin was clammy and pale, more so than normal, and a sheen of sweat covered his skin. Though he normally looked peaceful in sleep his features were contorted in pain. He hated the sight of it. He sat at his bedside and rested his chin on his arms, crossed on the bed, but being careful not to touch Alucard. He closed his eyes and sighed. 

“Don’t you dare die on me.” He whispered and let sleep take him away.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merry Christmas. Have an amazing day^^

_Don’t you dare die on me_.

It was dark. Darker than he'd ever thought possible. He figured he must be dead. Surely. He had died and this was hell, or purgatory, or some endless, empty void where creatures like him went when they died. He found it a fitting end, really. Just when he had a chance at getting what he wanted, _he_ was ripped away from it. Killed by his own blade, how funny. How ironic. Killed by the very blade that had kept him alive most of his life was the one that took his. In the end, he was...okay with this death. He only regretted he had no time with Trevor. He was fine with dying, but he should have told Trevor about everything so much earlier. 

"_You are not… satisfied with your predicament_?" A voice cooed, and he spun, only to come face to face with Death. 

Alucard had met Death once before, he looked mainly the same, but also different. He still bore his cloak, a dark blue that covered most of his forehead and eyes with a shadow, and he still bore in his arms the large scythe, but-

"You look human now?" He pondered. 

Death shrugged. "_The skeleton scared people_." He answered as if it had been obvious. Hecocked his head, offering a smile. He had one of those smiles that showed no teeth, a soft thing, but a deadly one. He narrowed his eyes. 

"What are you doing here?" He asked, crossing his arms over his chest with a frown, Death chuckled, shaking his head, the little spirits around him joining in with teasing, mocking, fleeting laughter. They floated around him, twirling around his chest and looking at him with blank featureless faces. 

"_This is my realm, Adrian. Whether it is the afterlife or… this. You belong to me now._." He mused, cocking his head to the other side. 

"So I am dead, that's not just me imagining it?" He inquired.

"_You are dead, Adrian Fahrenheit Țepeș_," Death said and he flinched. So it was true. He bit back a frown, why had been thinking otherwise? He had guessed it himself, "_But, you are a restless soul, and you are messing up the flow of everything else. It disturbs the balance._.” Death said and Alucard looked at him blankly. A restless soul? What does that even mean? And what did he mean by him not being satisfied? He was satisfied with his death, though he bore regrets. Death watched him as he tried to figure it out, his large, massive scythe shining in unseen light. 

“What are you saying?”

Death smiled. “What _am I saying? It is a valid question but we do not have time for guessing games. You believe you are satisfied with your death, but I can feel it that you are not. You died too early, it has messed up the order. Though you might find yourself at peace, your soul does not. You have unfinished business that unless you complete you, your soul will continue to make the other souls restless, which we cannot have_.” Death said with a click of his tongue, he faced away from him now. Starting at his mid-thighs his lower body faded into mist as he hovered above the ground, frowning

“And what exactly do you normally do when dealing with a restless soul?” He asked, returning Death’s frown. 

“_Why, I kill them. Again_.”

Alucard stepped back and narrowed his eyes as Death turned to face him, he was smiling now, but it was a fake one, hiding a more sinister intention and Alucard readied himself for a blow, for an attack, to finally be removed from the world as a whole, but it never came. 

“You’re not going to kill me, then?”

“_Long ago I made a deal with someone you know. She asked me when her son died if he had unfinished business to allow him to return to the world of the living. She knew her son would be restless, ‘he always was’ she had told me, laughing. She had been restless herself. She told me to take her soul for a chance for her son to not go to the afterlife troubled_.” He concluded. Alucard listened with narrowed eyes. He didn't understand this. He didn't get any of this. 

"Why are you telling me this?" He asked. So much for a peaceful afterlife. He had come to terms with his death, but according to _Death_, he hadn't? What was going on? 

"_Because I promised your mother that I would not let her son become a restless soul_," he said and Alucard went stiff, he felt winded, "_And I failed_."

Alucard stepped back, eyes wide, practically shaking. His gaze was on the ground, tears forming in his eyes. That couldn't be right, that wasn't right. His mother wouldn't- would she? No. She would. Lisa had always cared more for others than for herself. It was entirely within her character to do that for her son. He stepped back again, eyes darting up but Death was gone. He spun, looking for him. Shouting. 

"Hey! Come back! What do you mean my mother-" he started, screaming himself hoarse, but soon a noise made it stop. Howling wind. Coming from all directions. It was getting harder to see how, his vision fading, but he kept yelling. He kept demanding for Death to return, to explain what the hell he was talking about. But he was gone, he was alone and even when his vision failed him, he kept screaming. 

_Screaming, screaming, screaming._

He woke screaming. 

Well- not _screaming_ screaming. It was more of a dying gasp and the end of a scream, but it wasn't entirely quiet. He bolted upright in bed, or wherever it was he was and he flinched. He expected pain, he expected agony, to cry out again once he bolted, and though there _was_ pain, it was but a dull throbbing in his side. He looked around, recognizing his mother's old medical room and his heart sank. So it was real, he had died. Truly. He had died and Death and brought him back because his mother had given her soul for him. He closed his eyes, looking down at his hands, his middle was bandaged, but they didn't look quite bloodied. Like they were newly changed or… he just wasn't bleeding. 

In the silence of the room - the only sound being his laboured breathing - it was easy for him to hear the loud thumping footsteps coming towards the room. Alucard knew who it was before he even burst through the door. 

Trevor Belmont looked much the same as he did right before he had lost consciousness in the field, but there were fading bags under his eyes and he almost looked too pale for his own good. The fear in Trevor's eyes faded to shock as he took in the sight of Alucard. Then from shock to relief, and then Trevor was making his way towards him with a new sense of urgency. 

Then he was kissing him, cupping his cheeks and pulling close. Alucard fell into the kiss, bringing his arms up to pull Trevor closer to him. He had been brought back for this, surely that's what it was, he wouldn't waste what he had been given. His mother had done this for him, he could not take what she'd done for him for granted. He kissed Trevor like he was dying for it like he needed it to live and he was living for every moment. Trevor tasted like honey and tea, he must have had some. He smiled like fresh rain and the forests, and Alucard loved it. Loved _him_. When Alucard tasted salt he wasn't sure if it was him or Trevor who was crying, or the both of them.

He pulled back, cupped Trevor's cheek and found it had been Trevor who had been crying, his eyes were puffy and red. He rubbed his thumb on his cheek and lips, brushing away the tears that ran down his cheek. Frankly… he couldn't blame him. He understood it all very well.

"How long has it been?" He whispered, voice hoarse. How long had he been dead? How long had it been since everything had taken place? 

"A fortnight," Trevor whispered, voice cracking, "It's been two weeks, baby." He whispered. Alucard kissed him again, tasting tears. He didn't like that. 

"He said you died, he said you were dead. He said your pulse had stopped." Trevor choked out, and Alucard wiped away more tears and shook his head. He figured that 'He' was Hector. 

He wanted to deny it, but it wouldn't do him any good to Trevor to lie to him but he didn't think that telling Trevor that he _had_ died. Goodness if he told Trevor had the man might just die himself with the knowledge of that. Trevor Belmont was not one for healing, he knew he probably hadn't done much to keep him alive, because he didn't know how. He would feel awful. But he couldn't lie to Trevor, sometimes truths were better than lies. 

"Trevor I-" he paused, looking away, "I _did_ die." He whispered. And Trevor went stiff. He blinked, his eyes going distant, then focusing back on him, looking shocked. 

"You died." He said. 

"Yes."

"And now you're back."

"Yes."

"How?" 

Alucard frowned, moving one hand to rest it on Trevor's shoulder, the other cupping the bottom of his jaw and his neck. "I don't know." He said honestly. He really didn't. He had a… general idea but he was genuinely unsure. He wiped away what was left Trevor's tears.

"I'm just as confused as you are. Death, he said my mother- my mother she traded her soul for a chance for me to return to the living if I die a troubled soul." He murmured. Trevor blinked, he narrowed his eyes, eyebrows furrowed. Alucard watched him as he tried to figure it out with mild amusement. 

"That doesn't make sense." He said finally. 

"Does it matter?" Alucard asked pressing a kiss to his jawline, his hands slipped him his chest to his waist, resting there, "You got me back." He said with a smile. Trevor didn't seem reassured. 

"You _died_ and came back, you're not confused? You- you don't want to figure out how this was possible?" He asked, but he moved to kiss his forehead, running his hands through his hair, he let Trevor untangle his hair, liking the touches. 

"I never said that I have bigger priorities." He whispered. He moved to sit on the side of the bed, expecting pain but again he only got a distant throbbing. It had been two weeks after all. He moved to kiss Trevor again, and though he looked like he wanted to say something, Trevor bit it back to meet his kiss. It seemed so unreal, he had to be dreaming. Surely. He was truly and actually dead and this was some dream if it was god let him stay asleep and or dead forever. 

"I should go tell Sypha," Trevor murmured against his lips, Alucard frowned, but he nodded, "She'll want to see you." He said. He didn't step away though, and Alucard laughed gently. 

"I'm not going to die on you again, go get her, and hey, can you give me your cloak? I'm… cold." He said and Trevor smiled sadly. He took the cloak from his shoulders and slung it around Alucard's own shoulders. The warmth seeped into him immediately and he pulled the cloak closer to him, snuggling into the fur. Trevor was at the door already by the time he looked up, watching him with soft eyes. 

"Go." He told him laughing gently and Trevor was out the door. With a sigh, he pulled his knees to his chest and looked around. He wanted to ponder over what all of this meant but he was just too tired. He looked around the room once more and outside the window, he found that one of Death's spirits, the little faceless ones, watched him. It was floating by the window, holding a tiny hand to its face to stifle its fleeting laughter. Not a dream then. He watched the little spirit as it danced around, now suddenly in the room, smiling softly. 

He wasn't entirely sure how much time had passed when Trevor returned with Sypha and Hector in turn, but it hasn't taken him too long. By then the little spirit had settled on his shoulder, and they'd sat in silence, the spirit disappearing in a puff of smoke when the speaker entered the room. She looked at him, tears forming in her eyes before she flung herself into his arms. He caught her, pulling her close and holding her tight. 

"You bastard you scared the hell out of us!" She said, crying and he tightened his grip on her. She buried her face in the fur of Trevor's cloak and he held her there, looking up to catch Hector's eyes. The man stared at him in shock but it very quickly faded and was replaced with this sort of soft look and she smiled. Trevor was standing by the door, looking at them with an almost distant look. He didn't want to think of how Trevor must have felt during the two weeks he was gone. In all honesty, he didn't even know _when_ he had died. Had it been immediately after he closed his eyes or sometime during those two weeks? He wasn't sure if he wanted to know. 

Sypha was speaking when he turned his attention back to her and he smiled, shushing her with a laugh. "Sypha, give me a break, it's been two weeks." He chuckled and her face fell but lit up at the same time. She stepped away from him, shaking her head with a chuckle. 

"Of course, sorry sorry." She laughed, she turned to Hector, as if expecting him to say something, but the man only offered them a nod of his head and smiled shyly. He didn't expect Hector so say anything, they weren't that close anyway. 

"We should probably give you and Trevor space," Sypha said after a moment as she stepped back to Hector's side. Hector nodded. 

"I have to go down to town anyway, now that you're awake I'm going to need some more things." He said with a smile and stepped out of the room with a curt bow, Sypha gave him one last large smile before following Hector out the door, he raised an eyebrow as he stood from the bed at the center of the room, expecting to wobble on his feet but finding himself stable.

"Are they...?" He trailed off. 

"Nah," Trevor said as he came up to him. The man placed his hands on his hips and smiled, cocking his head. With a playful eye roll, Alucard leaned down to kiss him, loving the feeling is Trevor's lips on his. He held the man close as Trevor leaned up to kiss and nip at his jawline, Alucard hummed, tightening his grip of Trevor’s side. 

“Sypha was right, you worried us- you worried me you bastard,” Trevor said as he kissed his jawline again

Alucard tilted his head to give Trevor access to him. “I’m sorry I worried you so.” He murmured and Trevor buried his face in his neck, his hands moving along his sides. He liked having Trevor’s hands on him, they weren’t rough and though he let Trevor’s hands explore his body, they didn’t go anywhere he didn’t wish like Trevor was hesitant to do something that would ruin the moment. After a moment, Trevor pulled back to look him in the eyes. 

“I really missed you,” he whispered, their lips only a fraction of an inch apart, “I don’t think I was ready to live without you.” He admitted.

“You don’t have too, I’m back, I’m real. I’m in your arms, just enjoy the moment. We can worry over the technicalities of all of this later.” He answered moving to cup Trevor’s cheeks and pressing himself against the man, Trevor kissed him, groaning. He smiled. 

"I love you." He whispered and Trevor groaned again. 

"I want you," Trevor whispered after a moment, voice deep and husky, Alucard shivered, loving the sound. He liked the sound of that as a way of saying 'I love you' back. He leaned down to kiss Trevor's nose, laughing gently as he let his hands roam over the man's body and he smiled. 

"I just came back from the dead." He said with a smile, but he never opposed to what Trevor wanted. Trevor frowned as if realizing he should give Alucard some time to get used to being awake again, he moved to step away, but Alucard kept him close, raising an eyebrow. 

"But, I never said no."

"But you make a good point." Trevor frowned, Alucard shook his head laughing. 

"I was only fucking with you, you brute. I want you too." He smiled resting his arms on Trevor's shoulders. He looked at the man with a soft look and he expected Trevor to kiss him once more but the man just stepped back, grabbed his hands and tugged him towards the door. Alucard laughed, letting the man pull him along.

“Do you know where my room is, Trevor?” Alucard drawled.

“Would it sound weird if I said yes?" Trevor asked but he was already tugging Alucard along the path that led to the room he'd been using because he couldn't bring it in himself to go back to his childhood one. 

"Only a little bit, but I suppose it's fair, I _was_ dead after all." He laughed, Trevor grimaced but quickly smiled after. He guessed the man had yet to come to terms with him having died, he didn't blame him. He hadn't yet quite registered that it had happened. He would find a way to thank his mother, he would. 

"Mm, well it's alright then." Trevor laughed and then they were back off towards his room. 

By the time they'd arrived at his room, Trevor didn't seem to have much patience left. The moment they were inside, Alucard hadn't even fully closed the door when Trevor turned and grabbed his cheeks, kissing him hard. He collided with the door, but he only groaned and kissed back, holding his tight as Trevor crowded him against the door, Alucard didn't mind. 

"Fuck." He gasped when Trevor raised his knee, right in between his legs. He shifted against his leg, loving the friction. The feeling was too good and with the fact that it was Trevor was driving him absolutely mad, making it even better.

Trevor pulled back, making his way to his neck. He pressed kiss after kiss to his neck, sucking down and leaving marks along his collarbone and neck. Alucard leaned his back against the door, mouth open, eyes shut. He rested his hands on Trevor's hips, clutching his own cloak in his hands and Trevor's clothing. He pulled the man closer, grinding down on his leg. Trevor laughed, pushing Alucard higher up on the door and Alucard moved his hands to tangled them in Trevor's hair, pushing it back, moaning into the man's mouth.

"Trevor," he whined, dragging out both the 'o' and the 'r' at the end of his name, shutting his eyes tight. He leaned down to pulled Trevor into a deep kiss, smiling. 

After a moment, Trevor pulled away and dropped Alucard onto the ground, he leaned against the wall, smiling and steadied himself on the wall, he looked down at the man, blinking. Then, a moment later, Trevor dropped to his knees before him and his face flushed, he covered his mouth stifling his laughter, his face burning. 

"Good god." He laughed embarrassed, looking away and Trevor grinned, his hands falling to his pants. He was dressed in a black shirt, and his pants from the day he'd gotten stabbed and he watched as Trevor undid the straps of his pants, he tugged them down but moved to his thighs, pressing kisses to the inside of his thighs, humming as he did so. Alucard whimpered gently and lifted one leg a little, hands tangled in Trevor's hair. 

When Trevor finally turned his attention back to Alucard, his face flushed with how hard he was already, but Trevor didn't really seem to care. He tugged his undergarments down, smiling as he looked up. Alucard caught his gaze and he shuddered, leaning his head back, moaning. "Goddamnit, Trevor. _Please_ hurry it up." He gasped. With a laugh, Trevor grabbed his cock, tilting his head and with a hum, starting pumping his fist. Alucard gasped, doubling over slightly, moaning and closing his eyes, loving that feeling. 

Trevor cocked his head, continuing to pump his hand, grinning, as he stood up, leaning up to kiss him, but continuing to pump his hand, up and down. He swiped his thumb over the tip of his cock and he moaned into Trevor's mouth, kissing him like there was no tomorrow. The hunter laughed into the kiss, Then dropped back to his knees and slowly, agonizingly he drug his tongue along the underside of his cock, dragging his tongue along the veins before he pulled back and took all of him into his mouth. Alucard moaned, long and loud, leaning his head back on the door, his head bumped the door as Trevor's nose bumped his stomach and he gagged, Alucard moaned again, digging his hands into Trevor's scalp, gasping. 

"Trevor-" he gasped, his voice breaking at the end and he knew Trevor would have laughed if he hadn't had his mouth full. Alucard moaned again, pressing his head against the door panting, hands still in his hair, tugging and pulling. He didn't speak, but he could feel that feeling deep in his stomach as Trevor bobbed his head, the tip of his cock hitting the back of his throat every time. His breathing sped up, his panting growing heavier before suddenly Trevor pulled back, and Alucard gasped. 

"Wha-" he started, voice slurred, he felt dazed, distant. Trevor laughed as he stood, holding him up as his legs almost gave out on him. "Why- d'you stop?" He asked, voice incredibly soft as Trevor leaned up to kiss him, he kissed him back, smiling gently, Trevor moved to pick him up and he let him. Trevor's hand slipped under his thighs, gripping tight and he laughed as Trevor carried him into bed. He sat on the edge of the bed, keeping Alucard in his lap and he shrugged his coat off his back and Trevor's cloak. Trevor pulled his shirt off with a mad grin, he shuddered. 

"There's poppy seed oil on the bedside table," he whispered, his voice barely audible, Trevor raised an eyebrow. "Don't look at me like that, it's good for my hair, restores it when it's dry." He muttered with a pout, looking away. 

"I never said anything, love." He laughed, moving to grab the vial, passing it to him, and Alucard turned it over in his hands. He looked Trevor in the eyes as he opened the vial and poured some of the oil onto his hand, then he grabbed Trevor's fingers and pulled them to his mouth. Trevor let him, pushing his fingers into his mouth. He moaned around his fingers, smiling as he worked on opening Trevor's pants. Once he got them open, he slipped his hand under his clothing and stroked his cock, laughing at the hitch in Trevor's voice. He grinned at the man, cocking his head. 

"God you're- intoxicating," Trevor said after a moment, pulling his fingers away, Alucard pulled his hand away, smiling, moving to nip at Trevor's earlobe. 

"I want you." He said. 

Trevor wasted no time in getting his clothes off. Alucard helped, pushing his pants off and helped tug his shirt off, and when Trevor was finally completed naked, just as he was. They sat like that for a few moments, their breathing coming out in heavy panting. Outside, it was dark, the moon and the stars shining in the sky, a soft breeze ruffled the curtains before Alucard leaned in to kiss him. Trevor cupped his cheeks, pulling him close and soon they were both grinding against each other. After a moment, Alucard lifted himself up above Trevor and Trevor moved to work him open, spreading his fingers inside him, having him shivering and shuddering above the man. 

By the time Trevor had decided that he was sufficiently prepared, Alucard was ready to collapse upon the man and Trevor helped him down onto his cock. He moaned again, head hanging low and quickly, he was fully seated in the man, breathing hard. Trevor kept his hands on his hips to help steady him and he said nothing, staring at him with loving eyes as he waited for him to get as comfortable as he could. Finally, after a moment he gave a shaky sigh. 

"Alright there, love?" Trevor asked softly, reaching up to cup his cheek, he pressed his forehead to Trevor's, closing his eyes, hands gripping the hunter's sides. 

"All's well," he murmured. "You can move, now." He said after a moment, voice wavering. Trevor nodded, a soft movement of his head and slowly, Trevor rolled his hips up, immediately, pleasure shot up his spine and he whimpered, leaning his head back, exposing his neck to Trevor. Trevor took the opportunity to leave more marks and kisses on his neck, marking his collarbone in hickeys and bruises. He rolled his hips down to meet his movements, loving every rock of their hips. Loving every pulse of pleasure that shot through his body. 

Their movements found speed quickly, Trevor's hand dropping to his cock to pump his hand along his dick. With every thrust upwards into him, Trevor's cock found purchase in him thrust after thrust. Moans and whines and pleas fell from his lips in half cries and soft whimpers as he found home in him, hitting harder, faster _deeper_. He was begging for more, pleading for it, even, but he found his voice failing him as Trevor hit harder. He moaned, slamming his hips down to meet Trevor's thrusts, crying out when finally, Trevor's slammed up against his prostate, letting out a half soft, half cry at the feeling. Trevor pressed a kiss to his jawline, hands digging into his back, hard enough to bruise, he moaned again.

“Fuck fuck- Trevor- gonna-” He gasped, unable to form full sentences or even get words out. Trevor quickened the pace of his hand, the swipe of his thumb over his tip having him falling off the edge with a cry. He came _hard_ Trevor's name on his lips. 

Trevor came a moment later, biting down on his collarbone, and Alucard sobbed in pleasure, tossing his head back as they moved in tandem. Only then did Trevor stop when a string of pleas fell from Alucard's lips as overstimulation had him feeling like he was burning up. Trevor closed his eyes as he rested his head on Alucard's shoulder, and gently, Alucard ran his fingers through his hair. 

"I missed you," Trevor whispered after a stretch of silence. Alucard hummed his agreement. His body ached and he felt warm inside, but he felt happy. Content. 

"I'm sorry. Did I make it up to you?" He asked with a smile, Trevor huffed a laugh. He shook his head but he was smiling. 

"Just having you back is enough." He whispered and Alucard blushed. He stood a moment later, whining at the loss but Trevor only laughed at him and slipped into a different room to grab a towel to wipe them off. He put his undergarments and shirt back on as Trevor put his pants back on. He didn't lay down in bed though, he sat on the edge of the bed, staring out the window at the stars, enjoying being able to see the moon. Trevor joined him a moment later. 

"It's not too much, is it?" Trevor asked and Alucard knew what he meant. He shrugged, leaning his head against Trevor's shoulder. 

"It's better than being dead." He said. 

Trevor laughed, shaking his head. "Yeah, yeah it is." He mused. 

"There's so much that happened within those two weeks, love. I've so much to tell you." Trevor murmured as Alucard watched an owl soar past the window. He smiled and laughed gently but shook his head. 

"Tell me tomorrow." He said. 

Trevor snorted and they sat there in the content, loving silence of the room, listening to the ticking of an old grandfather clock as the night grew young and the moon shone in the sky, proud. They sat there, with the other only grateful to have the other and let the night come and go. 

_Tick, Tock. Tick, Tock_.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments, questions, concerns?  
Leave me some! I'm always open to feedback


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